Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #scientists #influence #world #politicians

There is a standpoint that the world is impacted by people who are

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

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at science, while some argue that people

involving

Wrong verb form

involved

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in politics are more worldwide influential. From my perspective, I agree with the former statement and will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, advocates of the

first

viewpoint believe that science

bring

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brings

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revolutionary innovations for

human

Add an article

a human

the human

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being. Without lots of vital discoveries and inventions

such

as the Internet,

telephone

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the telephone

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, medicine,…, people would never have

the

Correct article usage

apply

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convenient and

high- quality

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high-quality

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lives.

Moreover

, many sectors gain benefits from science,

such

as manufacturing, agriculture, education and commerce.

For instance

, thanks to many machines, the amount of time and workforce in manufacturing products can be minimized,

therefore

, the price is cheaper. If there were no scientists,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans would have a primitive lifestyle today.

On the other hand

, there are numerous reasons for politicians to have greater influence.

Firstly

, they run the country efficiently by implementing laws and regulations, which form the civilization of

human

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humans

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Additionally

, with the

laws

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,laws

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they can provide the citizens with many advantages in their security, their right to reach education and health-care system, etc.

Secondly

, they play a pivotal role in the development and growth of the economy. They can adjust the situation of the worldwide economy

Change preposition

through

show examples

treaties

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and can have a lot of essential schemes, which help their country develop considerably.

For example

, Nguyen Phu Trong is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

excellent politician, who make a substantial contribution to Vietnam's progress in economy and security. To conclude,

although

there can be tremendous interest in the scientific field, I deem that the role of legislators is dominant due to the aforementioned reasons.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovations
breakthroughs
unprecedented
dynamic
technological advancements
legislation
diplomacy
socioeconomic policies
geopolitical
benchmark

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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