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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behavior and academic achievement. Discuss both sides & give your opinion

#feel #school #uniforms #schools #students #level #field #disparities #children #focus #studies #clothes #right #individuality #effect #behavior #achievement
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There has been ongoing debate about school
uniforms
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 over recent years. Some people argue that it is safer to wear them for students. And it
force
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forces
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children
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 to focus on their studies
instead
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 of their clothes. Others argue that school
uniforms
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 are the right to express
children
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's personalities. And it has no positive effect on students. In my opinion, I totally agree that
uniforms
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 are essential for several reasons.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides and explain my view. On the one hand, having a regular custom in
schools
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 has been known a long time ago. I believe it is hard to change
this
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 tradition for one reason. it will put a lot of pressure on kids and their families. Especially with low-income families.
Therefore
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, it could lead to competition among
children
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. And the kids with lower income may feel shame or embarrassed.
For example
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, a study has been conducted at Yale University about kids
with lower income
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from low-income
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 families. And they found out that 77% of them suffer from anxiety and shame in
schools
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 with casual dress codes. owing to, their parent's low salaries.
On the other hand
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, wearing casually in
schools
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 has its own merits. A primary belief is letting the
children
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 choose their own style and express themselves.
Hence
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, Give them the right to make small discussions.
For instance
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, a portion of students may like other colours or styles. And they may feel forced to wear the uniform every day.
Therefore
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, they will feel resentment.
In addition
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. The people who agree with the casual code system believe that uniform has no meaning
and
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or
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 positive effect. In conclusion, it seems to me both side has merits.
However
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, in my opinion, wearing
uniforms
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 in
schools
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 has more benefits than wearing them casually.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow within paragraphs for better cohesion.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your main points to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Include more examples to support the points made in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument which fulfills the task requirements well.
task achievement
The example from Yale University is a good use of relevant specific example. This strengthens the argument about socioeconomic disparities.
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