IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

ln many parts of the world, children ore given more freedom than in the past ls this a positive or a negative development?

#ln #parts #world #children #ore #freedom #ls #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Time has changed, and so have the concepts of bringing up young
ones
Use synonyms
.Presently,wards are given more
freedom
Use synonyms
 by their
parents
Use synonyms
 compared to the past.In my point of view,it is a positive development for the most part as removing restrictions causes creative growth and grooms the personality while some negative aspects
such
Linking Words
 as disrespectful behaviour
also
Linking Words
 arise. On the one hand, the creative character of the young
ones
Use synonyms
 is nourished by giving them
freedom
Use synonyms
 and space.Suppressing the young
ones
Use synonyms
 damages their gifted abilities.
That is
Linking Words
 why
parents
Use synonyms
 who do not restrict their wards tend to give birth to intelligent humans which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been proven by several pieces of research.
Thus
Linking Words
,
freedom
Use synonyms
 lets the innovative minds of the children grow.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
freedom
Use synonyms
 nourishes the overall personality of humans and those who are left unrestricted on their own usually turn out to be good and confident at taking their life decisions.
For instance
Linking Words
,most businessmen around the world are successful because of the liberty they got from an early age from their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,personality is groomed if children are left unrestricted.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,disrespectful behaviour is something that has resulted from the lack of checks and balances of
parents
Use synonyms
 in their wards.Young
ones
Use synonyms
,if left free,learn from their environment even the negative aspects
such
Linking Words
 as disrespect and rude behaviours which may result in moral turpitude.
That is
Linking Words
 why Chinese people do not give their children
such
Linking Words
 privilege and their young
ones
Use synonyms
 turn out to be much more respectful.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a lack of moral values may arise from a lack of checks and balances. To conclude, the liberty of the human mind is vital for its growth.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,some control is
also
Linking Words
 important to steer them in the right way.
Submitted by saphire8619 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: