IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Even though Globalization affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten. Discuss

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Over the
world
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, there is no doubt that
globalization
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 has been significantly processed in many
countries
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 which provides possibilities to enhance
economical
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economic
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 aspects.
Although
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 the globalizing tendency has the advantage of allowing developing and developed
countries
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 to communicate and share information to improve financial situations without geographical barriers, side effects cannot be denied. In
this
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 essay, I will explain how
globalization
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 allocates to nations in a positive and negative way. Developed
countries
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such
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 as the USA can provide significant assistance to help poorer unities to
uprise
Verb problem
improve their
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 economic situations.
For example
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, the USA has launched water recycling systems to prevent people from having serious droughts in the Sahara desert. In
this
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 way, the advanced country (USA) is
possible
Correct word choice
able
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 to acquire
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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unique resources from unexcavated areas
such
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 as Nigeria’s desert and Nigeria can get a higher employment rate and improve the
world
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’s wealth through technological advancements.
Thus
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, it is imperative that the consequence of assisting nations
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 them to obtain synergy by contributing to each other.
On the other hand
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, Ukraine and Russia’s current war is an excellent example of an aggressive way of
globalization
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. A few months ago, Russia's unity has been struggling with consecutive failures to get Ukraine’s own resources
such
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 as nuclear technology or fossil fuels by stretching out to regional areas of Ukraine.
As a result
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, the failure of
globalization
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 causes them to disconnect by attacking each other and killing innocent individuals with destructive weapons.
Therefore
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, there is convincing evidence that trying to have
world
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 connectivity could influence
losing
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the loss of
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 massive amounts of a nation’s money and
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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. In conclusion, in my opinion, since the advantages of
world
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 connection
are overwhelming
Wrong verb form
outweigh
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 the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, it is significantly important to deliver assistance to weaker
countries
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 to advance by globalizing society and communities around the
world
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. As long as we prevent human beings from having detrimental situations by minimising the bad effects of
globalization
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, the
world
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 will be able to make use of the benefits of the
world
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 connection.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects back to your main thesis, reinforcing your argument throughout.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of globalization effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay, providing a clear roadmap for the reader.
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