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Writing Samples
Band 3

In many parts of the world, it is common for one parent to stay at home and raise a new born child while the other works full-time to earn money. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#parts #world #parent #home #child #works #money
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Nowadays all over the
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 there is
one
Use synonyms
 common factor
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
Guardian
Use synonyms
 always
staying
Wrong verb form
stays
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
 and look after their
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
 child and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 works
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 and earn cash. I think there are many positive aspects over the drawback.
Firstly
Linking Words
, all the guarding willing to provide
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future for their children.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are Concerned
Change preposition
about Children
show examples
Children
Change noun form
Children's
show examples
nutrition
Use synonyms
, health, and education.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new research was showing feeding with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breast milk improved
babies
Change noun form
babies'
baby's
show examples
nutrition
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 mother decided
Staying
Change the verb form
to stay
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
. Because if the babies have good
nutrition
Use synonyms
 might they would protect
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 illness.
For example
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
day's
Change noun form
day
show examples
 we can see many
low
Add a hyphen
low-nutrition
show examples
nutrition
Use synonyms
 babies all over the world
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries,
such
Linking Words
 as Sri Lanka. Because of inflation works essential for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both guardians.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can teach them good
disciplines
Fix the agreement mistake
discipline
show examples
 and would
product
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 well-being human for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
Linking Words
, there are many
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
show examples
 for the
guardian
Use synonyms
 who
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 staying at
home
Use synonyms
 and
raise
Wrong verb form
raising
show examples
 their
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
 child
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, they are unstable
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financially
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 lead to more problem.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
guardian
Use synonyms
 has to work many hours
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cover expenses,
then
Linking Words
 the Person worked
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under pressure and without any relaxation
possible
Change the word
possibly
show examples
 have
mental
Add an article
a mental
show examples
 disorder,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 depression.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
Country
Correct article usage
the Country
show examples
 has been losing
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
 workforce. In conclusion, if
one
Use synonyms
guardian
Use synonyms
staying
Wrong verb form
stays
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
 and raise
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
 baby and other work and gain money lead to more benefit
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
then
Linking Words
 outweigh the drawback.
Submitted by asankabiz84 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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