IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Writing Task 2 People eat more processed food now than in the past. Task 1: what is the reason behind this? Task 2: what effects might people have by this?

#people #food #reason #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Processed
food
Use synonyms
 is accessible more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 ever and people are eating more of it. Several factors might be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
 happening. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will be touching upon
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 of the reasons behind the increase in
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of processed
food
Use synonyms
 and what might be the effects of
such
Linking Words
 phenomenon. To start with,
techonological
Correct your spelling
technological
 advancement has
touch
Change the verb form
touched
show examples
 every aspect of our lives even the
food
Use synonyms
 that we consume. In the past
decade
Add a comma
,decade
show examples
 we have seen advancement more than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
 hundred years. Processed
food
Use synonyms
 is one of the results of
such
Linking Words
 evolution. Now that we
understant
Correct your spelling
understand
 how the body and mind
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 fueled we were able to curate specific
food
Use synonyms
 that fills
this
Linking Words
 need. On top of that, the world population have reached levels that we have never seen in the past.
This
Linking Words
 being said new challenges came to the surface
as a result
Linking Words
 of
such
Linking Words
 expansion. One of them is the ability to feed eight billion people
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
.
as a result
Linking Words
, people now eat more processed
food
Use synonyms
 than in the past since it is
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
 present in every store we shop in, cheaper than organic
food
Use synonyms
 and it
supply
Change the verb form
supplies
show examples
 us with the necessary
nuitrients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 our body needs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the increase in
Correct article usage
the consumtion
show examples
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of processed
food
Use synonyms
 can have some negative effects on our bodies due to the fact that higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of toxicants
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
entring
Correct your spelling
entering
show examples
 our bodies. Processed
food
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 rich in
such
Linking Words
 chemicals and in the long term
these chemical
Change the determiner
this chemical
these chemicals
show examples
 can result in
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 damage to some of
Add an article
the ou
show examples
ou
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 organs. In conclusion, the consumption
processed
Change preposition
of processed
show examples
food
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advancement which resulted in cheaper
prodcuts
Correct your spelling
products
 and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the emergence of new challenges with the expansion of our population but
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 impact on our health that might need addressing in the future.
Submitted by mazen_bikai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Fast-paced lifestyles
  • Processed foods
  • Ubiquity
  • Aggressive marketing
  • Home-cooked meals
  • Globalization
  • Western dietary habits
  • Economic factors
  • Accessibility
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Essential vitamins
  • Minerals
  • Psychological effects
  • Addiction
  • Environmental impact
  • Cultural shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: