Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, the Olympics or the World Cup. Therefore, it is necessary to offer money to encourage children to exercise more? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #competitors #competitions #olympics #world #cup #offer #children #exercise

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There is no doubt that these days there is a vast investment

done

Verb problem

made

show examples

in athletes to participate in competitions in the Olympics and the World Cups. The question is, should countries apply financial incentives for children to promote sports activities? I completely agree that we should invest more money in students to encourage their physical health state. In

this

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essay, I am going to elaborate more on my view.

First,

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it has been known for thousands of years that mental strength is always connected to physical energy.The main reason for

this

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thesis is that it was observed in many studies in the world that people who exercise regularly have better results in the theoretical part.

Such

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as, they found that Argentina athletes' average grades in math and English were B+.

Whereas

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, Saudi players' average was C in both subjects.

In addition

Linking Words

, Dr Mazen from Imam Abdulrahman Bin Fasil

university

Capitalize word

University

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conducted research in 2018 to measure the gem effect on brain activity, he found that individuals who practice three hours per week have 35% working areas in the brain more than people how not practice all.

Also

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, he found the effect of these hours in the gem

last

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double its time.

For example

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, if you practice three hours per week for 3 months and rest for another 3 months your mental work will be functioning in the same manner during these months, and decline after that. In conclusion, there is much evidence that supports my claim that investment in school sports classes will give us a new generation with good well-being

as well as

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mental strength.The responsible institutions should take

this

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information and start working on it.

Submitted by albandarialqahtani4 on Wed Dec 28 2022

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the main topic and the writer's position on the issue. Provide a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs to improve overall coherence.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, the Olympics or the World Cup. Therefore, it is necessary to offer money to encourage children to exercise more? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replaced in the workplace. Why isnthis happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact in society?

Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments againts offenders To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples

Environmental pollution has become one of the most serious issues in today's world. What are the causes of environmental pollution? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?