IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think we should stop building library because it waste of governments revenue. What extant do you agree

#people #library #waste #governments #revenue
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that libraries are not necessary anymore, while there are many benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
 of libraries is decreasing, I do not agree that
governments
Use synonyms
 should not spend revenue on building
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. On the one hand, I agree that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who use
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 is decreasing. As technologies have developed,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to access various information with a phone, computer or TV in no time. Many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to surf the internet
instead
Linking Words
 of reading books in order to gain knowledge. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, even book lovers start to stick with their devices, rather than
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to a
library
Use synonyms
 since the appearance of e-books.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that libraries' benefits
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the problems
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above. Education is one of the most basic rights of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, so anyone should be able to
acqurie
Correct your spelling
acquire
 knowledge and information.
Use synonyms
Library
Correct article usage
A library
show examples
 is a good example that
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 studies to anyone as
public
Add an article
a public
show examples
 facility. In terms of revenue, it may look like
waste
Add an article
a waste
show examples
 of taxes but if we see
this
Linking Words
 with
long-term
Add an article
a long-term
show examples
 view, it would increase
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the governments
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governments
Change the noun form
government
show examples
 revenue.
For instance
Linking Words
, most countries
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 have high-level of education are rich. For the reasons mentioned above, it is clear that
library
Use synonyms
 play the important role in society as education facility that gives many benefits to both nations and
governments
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 should invest their revenues
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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