More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reason for this? What are the solutions?

Nowadays,
people
fond
Add a missing verb
are fond
show examples
of fast food and beverages which contain high
sugar
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is extremely dangerous for their
health
. I will explain various
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
consume that
types
of
drinks
and
also
give
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
solution.
To begin
with, there are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
of
people
consume
sugar
-based
drinks
.
Firstly
,
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
today
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
industry plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in every
areas
Change to a singular noun
area
show examples
. advertisement
manipulate
Correct subject-verb agreement
manipulates
show examples
people
that
purchas
Correct your spelling
purchase
things and try
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
,
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
industry
hiring
Wrong verb form
hires
show examples
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
valuable and glamorous stars.
Therefore
flocks
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that the stars
also
consumpted
Correct your spelling
consume
these
types
of
drinks
.
Secondly
,
These
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
soft drink
manufactring
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
also
invest
Correct subject-verb agreement
invests
show examples
and
Change preposition
in and
show examples
sponsored
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international sports and other activities.
As a result
,
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
attract to that
types
of
drinks
.
For example
,
Correct article usage
the Coco-cola
show examples
Coco-cola
Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola
show examples
company
sponsored
Add a missing verb
was sponsored
show examples
by IPL and other
turnament
Correct your spelling
tournament
tournaments
matchs
Correct your spelling
matches
match
and the big star Salman Khan was
also
brand
Correct article usage
a brand
show examples
Ambassador
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
Coca-cola company.
In addition
, every soft
drinks
Fix the agreement mistake
drink
show examples
has
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
taste and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
some percentage of caffeine so, over and over time consumption would be habitual which leads to
health
problems. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
various
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
decreased
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of
sugar
-based
drinks
.
Firstly
, humans should
also
less consume beverages in
Correct pronoun usage
their routines
show examples
routines
Change the noun form
routine
show examples
life and
also
shows written
contain
Replace the word
content
show examples
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
sugar
in every
drinks
Change to a singular noun
drink
show examples
.
Secondly
, companies should
manufactured
Change the verb form
manufacture
show examples
alternative options of
sugar
drinks
and diet coco-cola which contain only 5% of
sugar
. It
is helps
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to humans keep
fit
Change the verb form
fitting
show examples
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
health
.
Thirdly
, the government should conduct
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
diet
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
for
Correct article usage
the awerness
show examples
awerness
Correct your spelling
awareness
of
Add an article
the citizen
a citizen
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. In conclusion ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
-based beverages
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
health
issues.
Therefore
, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
awer
Correct your spelling
answer
aware
were
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
these
types
of
drinks
and
less
Add a missing verb
are less
show examples
consumed in daily life.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: