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Band 2.5

Some people think that students benefit from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private secondary schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #benefit #schools #effect #society
Nowdays
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Nowadays
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, education
are
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is
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 the most important issue to peoples. Some people think private secondary
school
 will have an effect
to
Change preposition
on
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 society and some people think it will be
Add an article
a benefit
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benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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 to
Add an article
the student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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. There are so many
debutes
Correct your spelling
debates
deputies
debuts
 to
this
 issue.
This
 essay will discuss more
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 of view and the ideas of private secondary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
Firstly
, private secondary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 well know that it is a non
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
school
 which is parents have to pay for the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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school
. The
fees
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arefees
werefees
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also
 quite expensive for a
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 peoples. Benefits from private
school
 actually is a good investment
to
Change preposition
in
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 your
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
show examples
 future. They usually provide a good learning scheme for their student, the pupils will
be guide
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be guided
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more
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in more
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 intensive ways to learn and adapt the knowledge compared to
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 secondary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
However
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 secondary
school
 is a place that all parents will afford to send their children. They will provide more free fees and parents will not
so
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be so
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 burden to pay
their
Change preposition
for their
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 education.
Therefore
,
this
 will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
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 focus on learning due to
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
 of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 in a classroom, teachers will not able to
controls
Wrong verb form
control
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 the students all
this
 will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
. In my conclusion, if we can afford to send our
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 to private secondary
school
 is greater
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
.
However
,
all
Correct pronoun usage
it all
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depands
Correct your spelling
depends
 on our
financials
Correct your spelling
financial
show examples
 level so will
be not burden
Change the verb form
be not burdened
show examples
 for our
childreen
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 education.
Submitted by yannaunghlaing on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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