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Band 4

should teenagers be required to do unpaid community work? and to what extent do you aree or disagree.

#teenagers #community #work #aree
Firstly
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
 discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
whether doing
community
work
 is important or not. Doing
community
work
/services not only
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
benifts
Correct your spelling
benefits
 the
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are working in terms of self-improvement, mental health,
ethical
Correct word choice
and ethical
show examples
ettiquete
Correct your spelling
etiquette
,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
helps
Rephrase
also helps
show examples
 the whole
community
. you
essintially
Correct your spelling
essentially
 are working to make the place you live in
overall
 better. You are doing
work
 to you and your
people
. So generally
that is
 a really good thing because you would be happy to see your
work
 has
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
. Which brings us to the main subject. Should teenagers be required to do unpaid
community
work
 in their free
time
?
This
 question can have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of different opinions but
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
 look at it logically,
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as a teenager or a kid you would only do
stuff
 to have fun. Whether
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 playing video games hanging out with friends or just chilling at home. Doing
this
 sort of
stuff
 can only be seen as punishment. No matter how hard you would try to change his perspective, most teenagers are only going to see it one way.
On the other hand
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doing
community
work
 will help them in so many ways that they don'
t
 see it yet. Interacting with
people
, learning to take care of
stuff
,
watching
Correct word choice
and watching
show examples
 over other
people
,
it's
Verb problem
are
show examples
 all really important for your future life as a partner. Because you have to be responsible, they won'
t
 like it. It's all seen as a dull thing in their eyes. So, knowing all of
this
 how do
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 see it? Do
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
disaggree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 or agree
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Personally in my own
experience
Add a comma
experience,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 didn'
t
 mind doing
community
work
 for a small period of
time
. And that part is
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 "small period of
time
". You see, you really can'
t
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 something that you don'
t
 love for a long
time
 without a reward. In all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
stuff
 as they say "Reap what you sow" but in
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 you're only sowing, there's nothing to be collected. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think teenagers should be paid for them to
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 know how it feels to be rewarded for
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own
work
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
tapic
Correct your spelling
topic
 can have an endless discussion
due to
 how many
people
 and many different ages can elaborate on
this
 topic and have different opinions.
Submitted by dancyxh on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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