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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #amount #time #money #protection #animals #population
It is an obvious
fact
 that
pet
Fix the agreement mistake
pets
show examples
 play
imperative
Add an article
an imperative
show examples
 role in
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
 whether wild
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
 or earthworms without these
creature
 forests is incomplete
Therefore
Add the comma(s)
,Therefore
show examples
, few individuals think we ought to be spent
money
 security of forest
animals
.
However
. Others admit that the high authority should spend
money
 on others amenities. I agree with
this
farmer
Change noun form
farmer's
show examples
 notion to great extent I will discuss justifications in forthcoming fragments. At the
out set
Correct your spelling
outset
show examples
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 innumerable
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 which
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 the
fact
 that why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend
money
 on
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
animals
. The
first
 and foremost one is
Increase
Correct article usage
the Increase
show examples
beauty
Correct article usage
the beauty
show examples
 of
woodland
Correct article usage
the woodland
show examples
. To be more precise, if
Add an article
the pet
a pet
show examples
pet
Fix the agreement mistake
pets
show examples
 will be present in jungles with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of breeds
then
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will give numerous
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
 to us and their natural surroundings means protecting biodiversity.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most Adventure and survival show are running owing to the
fact
 that of only
creature
 due to the
fact
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 people go in forests, and they capture videos of
beast
Add an article
the beast
show examples
 a number of time it becomes
source
Add an article
a source
the source
show examples
 of food To epitome, man vs wild is one of the best show of over the
global
Replace the word
globe
show examples
 because he eteplethora of
beast
Add an article
the beast
show examples
 while surfing as well as he demonstrated myriads of
creature
 which people cannot see in real life.
Hence
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 do not spend
salary
Correct pronoun usage
its salary
show examples
 on wild beast
then
 the interest of individuals go in thicket will be less in the future.
On the other hand
, if government give
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 of
money
then
 they will waste half
wage
Correct article usage
the wage
show examples
 on
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 amenities
such
 as hospice schools. To be more elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, these days
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 people are
illiteracy
Replace the word
illiterate
show examples
 due to poverty as well as they do not have any kind of knowledge about
animals
 in light of the
fact
 that they do not go
school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
.
Secondly
, a total of
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
 are encountering
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ailments a total of time it causes of death owing to the
fact
 that there are a number of cities where
ward
Add an article
the ward
show examples
 is not Available a figure of
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 Available but there are too much far before reaching
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
institution
animals
 have died
As a result
, the high authority invest must
money
 on amenities
instead
 of wild
animals
 in light of the
fact
 that if the hospitals will be not constructed
then
 one day wild
animals
 will be demised. To conclude,
although
, there are ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
merits of having
pet
Add an article
a pet
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foremost and it is good for
animals
 if
union
Correct article usage
the union
show examples
 waste wealth on their protection yet, the high regime ought to
be spend
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more salary on more facilities in light of the
fact
 that
that is
 more essential rather than wild
animals
.
Submitted by dhillonkirat19 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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