Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?
The 21st century witnessed an emphasis on the priority of science and technology rather than the humanities. Some argue that scientists and technology professionals are more valuable
due to
the development of society in terms of health and the environment. In my perspective, the importance of research on science outweighs the exploration of music and art.
On the one hand, scientific research plays a vital role in health by providing various innovations with long-term solutions which provide benefits to the community. In ancient times, being Linking Words
30-year-olds
was considered to be longevity Correct your spelling
30 years
whereas
the life expectancy is extended to 80 years Linking Words
old
at present Correct word choice
apply
due to
the inventions regarding health care. Linking Words
For instance
, genetic engineering contributes to Linking Words
the
innovations like insulin that treats diabetes; the banana vaccine against many diseases, Correct article usage
apply
such
as cholera and hepatitis; and some genetically modified vaccines amid the pandemic of COVID-19. Linking Words
Furthermore
, genetically modified food reduces hunger and famines around the world, by improving crop quality and crop yields, which helps in the country's development. Linking Words
As a result
, massive resources are invested into machinery and providing incentives for its advance.
On top of that, the importance of technological improvements is not restricted to fitness but is evident in the environment. Some eco-friendly measures are employed for the prevention of pollution. Eco-vehicles, Linking Words
in particular
, are substituting the traditional car which is the major source of air pollution in daily lives. Linking Words
Moreover
, the research on nuclear engineering provides infinitely renewable energy with zero carbon emissions and the smallest carbon footprint, to replace fossil fuels as a huge milestone of our response to climate change and greenhouse gas emissions. Technological advance not only results in an improvement of our living quality but Linking Words
also
minimizes the damage to the environment owing to industrialization.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the talented who express their abilities are highly appreciated. Linking Words
First,
they are considered a great source of income for countries and several tourists travel to see a piece of art or visit a museum. Linking Words
For example
, the National Art Gallery in the United Kingdom welcomes more than a million visitors per year to watch the unique pieces of the profession. Linking Words
Besides
, music can aid in relieving stress and clearing your mind. Recent studies show that listening to your favourite music can cheer you up and release your worries as well. Linking Words
Therefore
, several types of aesthetics can be useful to the mindset of the community and could be a useful method to cope with anxiety.
Linking Words
To conclude
, in spite of the visible trend of an emphasis on scientific advances Linking Words
due to
environmentalism and well-being enhancement, artworks could not be neglected because of cultural heritage and finance.Linking Words
Submitted by n159247630 on
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task response
Your essay shows a good understanding of the question and presents a clear argument. However, ensure that your discussion covers both sides of the argument to fully address the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and is easy to follow. Ensure that you use transition words effectively to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.