There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes commited each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a detterent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.

The rising crime rates have become a major concern for many people. Capital
punishment
, a severe
penalty
employed worldwide,
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
viewed as a deterrent. Proponents argue it delivers a powerful message and offers justice for heinous crimes.
However
, opponents raise concerns about its effectiveness and irreversible nature.
This
essay will explore both sides of
this
complex issue. Capital
punishment
's supporters believe it deters potential criminals.
For instance
, a recent terrorist attack in Indonesia tragically claimed the lives of hundreds and caused widespread destruction of public infrastructure. In
such
extreme cases, the
death
penalty
may function as a powerful deterrent, discouraging future acts of terrorism.
According to
Dr. Olivia, a Colombian psychologist, some terrorists may exhibit signs of mental health issues, potentially influenced by extremist ideologies.
This
raises ethical concerns about the
death
penalty
, particularly when applied to those who may not be fully responsible for their actions.
However
, opponents argue that the effectiveness of deterrence is debatable. They point out that many criminals do not act with a clear mind and may not consider the long-term consequences of their actions.
Furthermore
, some argue that the
death
penalty
does not address the root causes of crime,
such
as poverty or lack of opportunity.
In contrast
, for less serious crimes
such
as theft or assault, a standardized
punishment
system is necessary. These
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
often stem from underlying social issues,
such
as limited employment opportunities or poverty-stricken families. In these cases, rehabilitation and social programs might prove more effective than capital
punishment
. In conclusion, the
death
penalty
is a complex issue with strong arguments on both sides.
While
it may be a justifiable
punishment
in extreme cases, its effectiveness as a deterrent remains debatable. For less serious
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
, focusing on rehabilitation and addressing the root causes of crime might offer a more constructive approach.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you provide an introduction that clearly states your overall perspective on the topic, as this will set a coherent direction for your essay. Consider adding a thesis statement that offers a brief insight into your arguments.
Task Achievement
In the body paragraphs, aim to develop your arguments more comprehensively. This involves not only presenting a viewpoint but also critically discussing its implications, possible counterarguments, and providing evidence or examples to strengthen your stance.
Task Achievement
When discussing examples, make sure they are directly linked to the arguments you are making. It is beneficial to explicitly state how the example supports the point being made, which in turn, enhances the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve coherence, make your transitions between paragraphs smoother by using a variety of linking words and phrases that not only indicate the relationship between ideas but also guide the readers through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your main points are generally supported, aiming for deeper analysis and providing more detailed examples will increase the effectiveness of your argumentation. Consider the potential objections to your points and address them within your essay, which will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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