There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes commited each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a detterent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #detterent #people #measures

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The rising crime rates have become a major concern for many people. Capital

punishment

, a severe

penalty

employed worldwide,

often

Add a missing verb

is often

show examples

viewed as a deterrent. Proponents argue it delivers a powerful message and offers justice for heinous crimes.

However

, opponents raise concerns about its effectiveness and irreversible nature.

This

essay will explore both sides of

this

complex issue. Capital

punishment

's supporters believe it deters potential criminals.

For instance

, a recent terrorist attack in Indonesia tragically claimed the lives of hundreds and caused widespread destruction of public infrastructure. In

such

extreme cases, the

death

penalty

may function as a powerful deterrent, discouraging future acts of terrorism.

According to

Dr. Olivia, a Colombian psychologist, some terrorists may exhibit signs of mental health issues, potentially influenced by extremist ideologies.

This

raises ethical concerns about the

death

penalty

, particularly when applied to those who may not be fully responsible for their actions.

However

, opponents argue that the effectiveness of deterrence is debatable. They point out that many criminals do not act with a clear mind and may not consider the long-term consequences of their actions.

Furthermore

, some argue that the

death

penalty

does not address the root causes of crime,

such

as poverty or lack of opportunity.

In contrast

, for less serious crimes

such

as theft or assault, a standardized

punishment

system is necessary. These

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

often stem from underlying social issues,

such

as limited employment opportunities or poverty-stricken families. In these cases, rehabilitation and social programs might prove more effective than capital

punishment

. In conclusion, the

death

penalty

is a complex issue with strong arguments on both sides.

While

it may be a justifiable

punishment

in extreme cases, its effectiveness as a deterrent remains debatable. For less serious

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

, focusing on rehabilitation and addressing the root causes of crime might offer a more constructive approach.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure you provide an introduction that clearly states your overall perspective on the topic, as this will set a coherent direction for your essay. Consider adding a thesis statement that offers a brief insight into your arguments.

Task Achievement

In the body paragraphs, aim to develop your arguments more comprehensively. This involves not only presenting a viewpoint but also critically discussing its implications, possible counterarguments, and providing evidence or examples to strengthen your stance.

Task Achievement

When discussing examples, make sure they are directly linked to the arguments you are making. It is beneficial to explicitly state how the example supports the point being made, which in turn, enhances the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve coherence, make your transitions between paragraphs smoother by using a variety of linking words and phrases that not only indicate the relationship between ideas but also guide the readers through your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your main points are generally supported, aiming for deeper analysis and providing more detailed examples will increase the effectiveness of your argumentation. Consider the potential objections to your points and address them within your essay, which will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes commited each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a detterent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching many students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to

Some people think that children should obey and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.