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Band 6

The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #impact #people’s #lives #television
The existence of
television
 in the midst of
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
 era is about to extinct.
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has taken all of the
fuctions
Correct your spelling
functions
 of
television
 as the
media
 that
delivering
Wrong verb form
delivers
show examples
 reliable
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
. I strongly agree with
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
an Internet
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has made a big impact towards
people
's lives. Here, I will give my explanation. From my perspective,
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 or any kind of social
media
 like WhatsApp, Youtube, or even Twitter, have something in common which is
act
Fix the infinitive
to act
show examples
 as the fastest delivery information
media
.
For instance
, when there is a huge volcanic activity in a country, digital
media
 will rapidly show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thorough information about the time,
location
Correct word choice
and location
show examples
,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 there will be some attached
footages
Fix the agreement mistake
footage
show examples
 from the incident. It is really
unbelieveable
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
 how
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 plays pivotal
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
show examples
 in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 daily life and swiftly changes the use of conventional
media
 . Not only
television
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
newspaper
 and radio. Nowadays,
instead
 of listening
songs
Change preposition
to songs
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
,
people
 will rely on Spotify or YouTube Music
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can bring so
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
convenients
Correct your spelling
convenience
convenient
. The same thing applies
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 where
people
 will depend on NewsLetter
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be sent daily
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 E-mail box or online
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
such
 as BCC and CNN
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will give more updated
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 than
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
. Another case of the importance of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is it helps us to connect with
people
 from all around the world. It is as easy as pie to text or call strangers just by using social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 like Tinder or OmeTV. By communicating with
people
 who live in different countries from us, we can get another perspective and broad knowledge that can teach us to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
open-minded
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. It
also
 assists us to get a
job
 since there are so many online
job
 portals and the famous one is LinkedIn. Back
then
,
people
 might search
Change preposition
for job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
 or
newspaper
, but it is no
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 anymore since
people
 can meet abundant opportunities across
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
. To conclude, I agree that
Internet
 has changed
people
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
 of life. It has helped
people
 to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 songs easily, find
how
Change preposition
out how
show examples
 to cook fried rice, make
international
Add an article
an international
the international
show examples
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
, and even find
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 abroad. I believe that in the near future,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 will be no longer
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in conventional
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
.
Submitted by annisadevinaa on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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