One good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #peace #events

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Some believe that international

sports

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events are a great way to promote world peace. In

this

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essay, I will be discussing the reasons why I think

sports

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Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can help to raise awareness on

this

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matter.

Then

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, I will provide examples to support my theory. Indeed, I agree that international

sports

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can help to boost the support for world peace. Playing

sports

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involves players having good sportsmanship by showing each other respect and proper etiquette. An international event involves players around the world, which is a great opportunity for the public to learn about other cultures and traditions.

For instance

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, in New Zealand, they are very well known for their traditional chant, "Hanukkah".

Therefore

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, the New Zealand All-Black

rugby

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team made

this

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has become the tradition for them to start every

rugby

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games that they participate in.

Besides

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learning about each other's cultures, in an international

sports

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event

such

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as the Olympics, it disregards the matter of which country they represent, all team members need to follow the same rules. With that being said, all participants need to shy away from all factors aside including, religion and race, and accept that each sportsman is human and has the same rights.

For instance

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, there are different ways of playing

rugby

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and rules in

rugby

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depending on which region the game is held in.

However

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, at the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Olympics every team will all play by the standardised rules that are set for the game. To summarize, I completely agree with those who feel that international

sports

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events are a good way to support worldwide peace. Through

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

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, the players and audiences all have the chance to learn about other cultures.

Nonetheless

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, it

also

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expects all people to put down their pride and accept each other

base

Replace the word

based

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on the rule only without judgments.

Submitted by disishmeehlisa on Thu Dec 29 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to the topic and avoids repetitive statements.

task achievement

Pay attention to addressing all parts of the essay prompt and providing specific examples that directly relate to the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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One good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Everyone should consider becoming a vegetarian as consuming meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The apartment that you have rented was repaired recently. Later, you discovered some defects in repairs. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain what the problem is suggest how it can be fixed say what you would like the landlord to do about it.

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Government in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high level of sugar some think that these taxes are a good idea while other disagree. Discuss both you and give your opinion?

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they don’t do well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.