One good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that international

sports

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events are a great way to promote world peace. In

this

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essay, I will be discussing the reasons why I think

sports

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can help to raise awareness on

this

Linking Words

matter.

Then

Linking Words

, I will provide examples to support my theory. Indeed, I agree that international

sports

Use synonyms

can help to boost the support for world peace. Playing

sports

Use synonyms

involves players having good sportsmanship by showing each other respect and proper etiquette. An international event involves players around the world, which is a great opportunity for the public to learn about other cultures and traditions.

For instance

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, in New Zealand, they are very well known for their traditional chant, "Hanukkah".

Therefore

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, the New Zealand All-Black

rugby

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team made

this

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has become the tradition for them to start every

rugby

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games that they participate in.

Besides

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learning about each other's cultures, in an international

sports

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event

such

Linking Words

as the Olympics, it disregards the matter of which country they represent, all team members need to follow the same rules. With that being said, all participants need to shy away from all factors aside including, religion and race, and accept that each sportsman is human and has the same rights.

For instance

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, there are different ways of playing

rugby

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and rules in

rugby

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depending on which region the game is held in.

However

Linking Words

, at the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Olympics every team will all play by the standardised rules that are set for the game. To summarize, I completely agree with those who feel that international

sports

Use synonyms

events are a good way to support worldwide peace. Through

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

, the players and audiences all have the chance to learn about other cultures.

Nonetheless

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, it

also

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expects all people to put down their pride and accept each other

base

Replace the word

based

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on the rule only without judgments.

disishmeehlisa

Dec 29, 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to the topic and avoids repetitive statements.

task achievement

Pay attention to addressing all parts of the essay prompt and providing specific examples that directly relate to the topic.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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One good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing.

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree