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Writing Samples
Band 6

Even though government have worked hard to bring about improvements in healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this and what are long term affect

#government #improvements #healthcare #system #health #countries #term
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Physical
health
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 is key for all humans to survive in society as well as
health
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 is a fundamental need for all of us. Improving
health
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 care standards is not only the fact government need to upgrade to stabilized physical
health
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 as there are plenty of other key functions
also
Linking Words
 in the line.
This
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 may be the reason for physical
health
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-related statistics decreasing in developing
countries
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.
To begin
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 ,
with
Change preposition
apply
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 most
of
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apply
show examples
developing
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countries'
Correct your spelling
countries
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 government is keen on political survival and they are changing their strategies in short term due to the political parties’ changes.
This
Linking Words
 is directly impacting the county’s overall development. The sudden changes impact mainly education and economic growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
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 is the impact on
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country
Correct article usage
the country
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people
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's mentality. They are not satisfied with the environment. they may be afraid of their future, and
this
Linking Words
 is directly impacting on overall long-term
country
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 growth, Specifically, whoever possible
people
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 will decide to migrate from developing
countries
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 to search for a better future, and the result is again that economically poor
people
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 may remain in the
country
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.
This
Linking Words
 may cause to
further
Linking Words
 decries the physical
health
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 of the
people
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
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. As an example, the Latest world statistics indicated,
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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 happiest
people
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 live in Iceland, Japan, Germany, Australia and Denmark. all
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 world's healthiest
countries
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 prove the idea that you don’t have to be a rich
country
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 to be happy and healthy,
Also
Linking Words
, some of the common denominators between these
countries
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 are that they put their funds into
health
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, education, and other social services which support
people
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. When
people
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 feel mentally and physically secure where they live, they’re more likely to be happy and healthy. In conclusion, developing counties need to give more attention to overall social,
health
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 and educational developments. it is not enough to work hard only on one selected subject to see improving physical
health
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 standards in the
country
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.
Submitted by denuwaraindeewari on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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