IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today more an more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara desert or the antartic. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist to visit such places?

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Nowadays, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 who would rather visit
areas
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 that have difficult
conditions
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 like the Sahara desert is increasing. The positive points of
this
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 phenomenon are boosting the economy of the
places
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 and learning new things about the region and their
conditions
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,
however
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, it brings some drawbacks like degraded environment and extreme cost for visiting these
places
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. One of the advantages of visiting untouched
areas
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 that have difficult
conditions
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 is increasing our knowledge about their
conditions
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 and environments. Visiting these kinds of
places
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 not only leads to finding out about habitant animals but
also
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 improves our knowledge about their adaptation to hard
conditions
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.
Furthermore
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, Local communities in unspoiled districts often encounter financial issues and increasing
tourists
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 in these
places
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 help local
people
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 to improve their economic
conditions
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. By increasing
visitors
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 in
places
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 where
conditions
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 are arduous, residential individuals' income is increased because
tourists
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 need accommodation and food that are in basic demand and sometimes they purchase local products.
For example
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, in the past, local
people
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 around Kvir Loot had difficult economic
conditions
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 and cultivation was their main activity now by growing the
number
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 of
visitors
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, they rent accommodation and sell hand-made products like carpets.
On the other hand
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, increasing the
number
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 of
tourists
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 leads to the degradation of natural
places
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 and an increase in spoiled
areas
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. One of the main consequences of the increasing
number
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 of
tourists
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 is rising garbage and the environment of these
places
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 is degraded. It can be seen many habitant animals are in danger by humans.
In addition
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, one of the main reasons that
people
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 do not go to these
places
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 is the price of these trips and
people
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 need to spend a lot of money to go to the unspoiled
places
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. Many agencies book these kinds of trips and in their description, they mention that
visitors
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 need special types of equipment and insurance to start the journey and the community should spend a lot of money on these features.
For instance
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, based on an article that has been published by BBC,
people
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 who would rather go to Everest must spend 25000 to 35000 dollars for different equipment including tickets, a sleeping bag, special clothes, and insurance. In conclusion, increasing
visitors
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 in
places
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 that have hard
conditions
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 has pros and cons boosting our knowledge about their environment and the species that live there,
also
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 enhancing economic
conditions
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 are positive points,
although
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, rising degradation and spoiled
areas
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,
also
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 the cost of these kinds of trips are its disadvantages.

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sentence variation
Strive for variety in your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
paragraph organization
Ensure your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphing that separates different ideas effectively.
specific examples
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples and details about the impact of tourism on these unique locations.
conclusion development
Work on developing a more nuanced conclusion that not only summarizes your points but also provides a reflective insight or a call to action.
structure
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You have successfully addressed all parts of the task, presenting both benefits and disadvantages of tourists visiting hard-to-live places.
supporting examples
Your main points are supported by relevant examples, which adds strength to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique natural landscapes
  • ecosystems
  • extreme environments
  • adaptability
  • boosts local economies
  • global awareness
  • conservation efforts
  • environmental degradation
  • human activity
  • potential danger
  • health risks
  • extensive preparation
  • financial investment
  • cultural insensitivity
  • exploitation
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