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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, people always throw old things away and buy new things, whereas in the past, old things were repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects does the phenomenon lead do?

#people #factors #phenomenon #effects
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These days, consumerism among people has increased and they do not keep their old assets for a long time, but in the past, the public used broken products after repairing them.
This
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 issue has surrounded several reasons
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and has affected society and nature almost negatively. The tendency to buy new accommodation
instead
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 of fixing flawed products is more compared to the past. because,
firstly
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, many factories and companies have been built and
following
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this
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, every day, various versions of goods are produced.
Thus
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, customers are able to purchase their items quickly from markets located in their town without searching for them.
Secondly
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, industrialization has decreased prices considerably. So, many people prefer to replace it with the latest introduced product.
For example
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, if the screen of a television breaks, the cost of implementation of another screen is more than buying another TV set.
This
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 trend has plenty of disadvantages.
To begin
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 with, nature and the environment will be exposed to pollution
due to
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 the production of more
garbages
Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
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. because almost 90% of our tools
have consisted
Wrong verb form
consist
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 of toxic materials, which are not recyclable easily.
For instance
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, when a plastic toy is thrown away, the mentioned toy will
be remained
Change to the active voice
remain
have remained
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 untouched for
thousand
Correct article usage
a thousand
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 years.
In addition
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, the value of assets will be underestimated and customers will be used to buying plenty of items every year, which can reduce their money and what they invested for the future.
To sum up
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, consumerism has spread because of producing a great number of accommodations, which can damage nature and increase people's expenditures.
Submitted by amin.ranjbar77 on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic and provides reasons for the phenomenon. However, the ideas could be more fully developed to provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively structured to engage with the topic more clearly.
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