It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves?
In recent years, there has been an increasing tendency for people to hire others to take on responsibilities like household chores and childcare. I believe that delegating these tasks not only generates vital job opportunities but
also
enables individuals to concentrate on more critical priorities, benefiting both the economy and personal well-being.
On one hand, employing help for domestic duties and childcare can significantly boost job creation, especially for those from lower-income groups who depend on these positions for their livelihood. Linking Words
For instance
, hiring domestic workers or nannies offers them a reliable income Linking Words
while
Linking Words
also
invigorating the local economy. Linking Words
Moreover
, outsourcing these duties allows busy individuals to dedicate more time to their careers or personal pursuits, potentially leading to enhanced productivity.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, reduced family connectionLinking Words
: Relying
on housekeepers or nannies may lead to decreased interaction among family members, particularly weakening the emotional bond between parents and their children. Children might become more dependent on the nanny rather than their parents, which can negatively affect the development of a strong parent-child relationship. Correct your spelling
and relying
Additionally
, as parents spend less time with their children, they may miss out on important developmental milestones and educational opportunities, potentially increasing the child's sense of emotional and Linking Words
behavioral
detachment.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
behavioural
while
outsourcing household chores and childcare provides valuable job opportunities and frees up time for other priorities, it is essential to consider the potential impact on family bonds. Striking a balance between using outside help and maintaining strong family connections is key to Linking Words
ensure
both economic benefits and the well-being of the family unit.Wrong verb form
ensuring
Submitted by Mrjit147 on
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task achievement
You covered the topic well and provided a comprehensive response. However, ensure that all points are fully elaborated. For example, discussing potential drawbacks of hiring help deserved more depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, make stronger connections between ideas to ensure a seamless flow of thought between paragraphs.
task achievement
You provided relevant, specific examples that strengthened your arguments, adding credibility to your points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points were well-supported and logically organized, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic and structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.