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Band 4.5

many students take partime jobs while studying in university , you think it’s a good idea or bad idea.

#students #partime #jobs #university #it’s #idea
Nowadays, multitudinous learners in the university might take
partime
Correct your spelling
part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 in the middle of their studying.
However
,
this
 business is not a preferable choice for them. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elucidate drawbacks when scholars do
partime
Correct your spelling
part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 when they are studying.
To begin
 with, I strongly believe that it is not
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
effortless to do multitasking actions
such
 as studying and working. As a scholar, there are risks to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 previous activities. To illustrate, when I studied before, I took
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
 in my leisure time.
As a result
, I rarely gained
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 result from the exam, in view of the fact I divided
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of my concentration
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
job
Correct pronoun usage
my job
show examples
 and the rest for my studying. From that case, I recognized that it is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 way to release full of attention just for one activity and as a student,
defintely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 it is always our academic time. Turning
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 another point, it is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 beneficial activity for
Add an article
the learner
a learner
show examples
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
 to increase its credential than spending free time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
partime
Correct your spelling
part time
 work, even
more
Add the comma(s)
,more
show examples
 if it is not linear with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 studying.
Consequently
,
Add an article
the learner
show examples
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
 will have adequate qualifications later which will develop
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 professional career.
In contrast
 point, several jobs might
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not contribute to the career as much as
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 activity. That being the case, students should concern to boost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
softskills
Correct your spelling
soft skills
. From all the aforementioned, I never
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 students to take any risk
such
 as taking
Correct article usage
a partime
show examples
partime
Correct your spelling
part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 when they learn in the university because it can danger their studying.
Moreover
, it is valuable to build credentials as soon as possible because it might open the career path later.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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