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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of old people that that of young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development
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The vast majority believe that modernization has changed the way
people
Use synonyms
 live, particularly in producing offspring to create regeneration. The trend of not married and
child
Use synonyms
's free have answered that assumption. Thereof, the proportion of old
people
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 in many countries later will be higher than the
population
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 of the young generation.
People
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 tend to believe that they've already lost the sense of certainty that the future holds. The modern world has been more challenging to survive. It affects the way the young generation thinks about
Add the particle
to grow
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grow
Wrong verb form
growing
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 a
child
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. Life cost has been increasing so much, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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job has been scarce during some obstacles like the global pandemic. Productive young
people
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 tend to choose to have a pet rather than have a
child
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 to regenerate their nations.
For example
Linking Words
, the
people
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 of in East Asian countries have decreased due to the tendency of their
people
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 to not marry and avoid giving birth. It has been a negative output since the countries like Japan and Korea are nearer to distinction.
Besides
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 the negative effect, the positive effect can be felt by the government handling the
population
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 census. By decreasing the
population
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, the demography can be controlled and organized,
hence
Linking Words
 the country
also
Linking Words
 lessens its burden. Apart from that, old
people
Use synonyms
 who cling to tradition and cultures benefit from
this
Linking Words
 situation. They can preserve their custom and values without being shifted by young
people
Use synonyms
, and it gives them the guarantee to undergo the life they want. Based on both perspectives, I think the decreasing young
population
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 is a serious problem to tackle with. Every country needs regeneration, I believe it is an essential part to continue
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 existence as
nation
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a nation
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. Without regeneration, not only nations will vanish from civilization, but the whole human
population
Use synonyms
 will disappear as well. In a nutshell, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that having no
child
Use synonyms
 is their urgency to survive
this
Linking Words
 challenging world, while some old
people
Use synonyms
 believe that their cultures and custom should be preserved well without shifting.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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