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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
In certain cultures,
children
 are often told that if they strive to
work
 hard they can achieve anything they wish. By perpetuating
this
idea
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
, it could
shape
 their perspective about their
goals
 and
work
 hard to achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 if these individuals forced themselves with
this
 notion, potentially it could drive them to feel overwhelmed which leads to anxiety and often feel not enough for their life and future. Teaching
children
 to
work
 harder in
order
 to reach their
goals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 essential to
shape
Change the verb form
shaping
show examples
 their perspectives on their dreams and futures.
Children
 particularly in
this
 globalization era have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 inclination to become
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
lazy compared to young
people
 who live in the 90s.
This
 is because the development of technology generates these individuals to become more passive. In
order
 to make their dreams come true, young
people
 need to devote their time and energy tenfold harder. By doing so, potentially those
goals
 can be achieved.
This
 perspective or value is crucial to help these
people
 to
shape
 their mindset or paradigm about
goals
 and futures.
However
, if young
people
 are always perpetuated with
this
idea
 for a long time, it will drive them to become overwhelmed which could lead to deteriorating their mental health including anxiety and feeling not enough for themselves. Burnout and stress are the two paramount mental disorder issues that the young generation currently facing at the moment. In some cultures, in the
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 and Indonesia,
for example
, these problems are prominent for young
people
. Having a thought that “I am not enough” could undermine their self-confidence and they become more self-conscious about their quality. If the
idea
 of dictating young
people
 to
work
 harder in
order
 to achieve their dreams keeps happening, the number of victims of mental health issues will remain increasing in the future. In conclusion, the positive impacts of telling
children
 to
work
 harder in
order
 to achieve anything in their life is pivotal because it helps them to
shape
 their perspective and will
work
 tenfold harder than average
children
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
idea
also
 could lead the young generation to become overwhelmed and stressed which can deteriorate their mental health.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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