Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all their courses in foreign countries .While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, there has been
rise
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a rise

The noun phrase rise seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in
public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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moving abroad to
contiune
Correct your spelling
continue

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their studies for partial or
the
Correct article usage
apply

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complete course which in turn bring many perks to them. I strongly agree with the statement since it carries forward a lot of effective changes in the community.
Upcoming
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The upcoming
An upcoming

The noun phrase Upcoming modern way seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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modern way of living has bought many changes to the lifestyle of humans. And many students have to go through hard times by funding their education and simultaneously looking after their elderly parents which is making
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the situation

The noun phrase situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations

It seems that situation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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difficult in developing
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like Africa, Indonesia ,
Bangkok
Correct word choice
and Bangkok

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etc.
,.
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,
.

The punctuation in ,. is incorrect. Consider changing the punctuation.

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International
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

offers
Change the verb form
offer

The singular verb offers does not appear to agree with the plural subject countries. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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eduaction
Correct your spelling
education

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as either
part time
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part-time

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or full time which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the pupil to concentrate on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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as well as
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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work some causal hours jobs which would promote their financial stability. Not only, it enhances them economically but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as a learner, it gains them a sense of confidence developing a positive attitude supporting their family at the same time.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many people from different
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

educated abroad
are
Correct word choice
and are

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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excelling now in their respective fields.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many western and
european
Change the capitalization
European

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countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

offering scholarships which are sometimes, either fully or partially funded, depending upon the academic achievement of the students from other nations. The ones with high intellectual capacity are being selected and guided towards attaining their dreams. It
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

makes them realize the significance of the course completion in grabbing an aspired job in their field of study.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

being in a multicultural environment makes them grasp new languages,
staying
Wrong verb form
stay

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb staying. Consider changing it.

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broad minded
Add a hyphen
broad-minded

It seems that broad minded is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and
inculcating
Wrong verb form
inculcate

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb inculcating. Consider changing it.

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habits to reach their goal. In order to conclude, whilst getting educated in other
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed

It appears that well developed is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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soceities
Correct your spelling
societies

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has some drawbacks but it outweighs the advantages for the ones who specialized in the course ending up having a beautiful future to the self and the society as a whole.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, leaving the family to continue their studies in a different region makes it harder but the journey makes it worthwhile for the individual.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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