10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career

It is believed that in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light of the crucial role of work,

life

will become worthless if lacking it. From my perspective,

this

opinion is completely false due to its disadvantages for

health

and stress. My viewpoint would be explained in detail below. On the one hand, it is undeniable that humans are unable to survive in the long run without jobs. Indeed, a distinguished career would distribute manifold economic advantages for employees. To be specific, they offer workers monthly earnings, which would increase as they perform well and climb the career ladder. Better still, a significant number of enterprises supply incentives for workers’ families, namely insurance services, or yearly tours.

Additionally

, successful businessmen gain respect from society. Admittedly, most staff always expect to achieve triumph in their occupation and they witness someone, who already succeeds as their role model. In fact, numerous job-seekers pay hundreds of millions

VND

Change preposition

of VND

show examples

to acquire experience from CEOs of major corporations in Vietnam.

On the other hand

, a meaningful

life

demands more factors than fortune and reputation.

A powerful

Remove the article

Powerful

show examples

health

is necessary for employees to truly relish their fruits. Particularly, the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force devotes their

life

and

health

to workplaces, which results in numerous detrimental habits, including a sedentary lifestyle, and

smoke

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

addiction.

As a result

, the money they earn is not for

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

or shopping,

this

pays for drug costs of obesity and lung disease.

Besides

, the relationships between the public and households are of paramount importance to any worker. Specifically, while working environments provide stress and deadlines, family is the place that supplies sympathy and relaxation to workers.

Moreover

, meeting with friends is

also

a factor which provides a more vibrant

life

for them. In summary, even though I must admit that pursuing a successful occupation is the top priority of each individual, we should

also

take care of our

health

carefully

Replace the word

care

show examples

, since we are unable to perform anything well without

health

Submitted by nttung.182 on Mon Jan 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The topic of whether university students should stay in their family house is debatable. While some people believe that it is more beneficial to stay with their parents, others argue it is unreasonable.
5.5
band
Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is the point of view, that society is divided into two groups. While first prefer to send kids to preschool organizations as soon as possible at nearly three or four years old, others tend to think the kid should be quite old and mature to start learn at preschool courses before primary school. This essay will present the argument in favor of early education.
6
band
Some people think that cities should be designed to be beautiful rather than functional. Do you agree?
Public opinion about the purpose of urban planning always changes. Today, the viewpoint that the functional side should be sacrificed for urban aesthetics is increasing in popularity. In my opinion, city planning has to combine both of them.
6
band
The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?
We are indeed living in changing times, which means that nobody can be entirely certain about what will happen so the employees who just have one job are very risky. In my point of view, it comes from many reasons in daily life like economics. In this essay, I will discuss both and suggest ways from my own knowledge.
6
band
People can eat a wide variety of food of other regions. As a result, they are eating a lot of foreign food instead of locally produced food. Do you think the advantages of eating foreign food are more than it harms? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples of your own knowledge or experience.
One of the most recent trends in today’s world is the upsurge in eating a lot of food from global cuisine rather than local food. There is a widespread belief that this is a popular subject of debate. In my perspective, it has more positive impacts than negative ones. In this essay, I will evaluate points based on my opinion.

10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that cities should be designed to be beautiful rather than functional. Do you agree?

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?