10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career

It is believed that in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light of the crucial role of work,

life

will become worthless if lacking it. From my perspective,

this

opinion is completely false due to its disadvantages for

health

and stress. My viewpoint would be explained in detail below. On the one hand, it is undeniable that humans are unable to survive in the long run without jobs. Indeed, a distinguished career would distribute manifold economic advantages for employees. To be specific, they offer workers monthly earnings, which would increase as they perform well and climb the career ladder. Better still, a significant number of enterprises supply incentives for workers’ families, namely insurance services, or yearly tours.

Additionally

, successful businessmen gain respect from society. Admittedly, most staff always expect to achieve triumph in their occupation and they witness someone, who already succeeds as their role model. In fact, numerous job-seekers pay hundreds of millions

VND

Change preposition

of VND

show examples

to acquire experience from CEOs of major corporations in Vietnam.

On the other hand

, a meaningful

life

demands more factors than fortune and reputation.

A powerful

Remove the article

Powerful

show examples

health

is necessary for employees to truly relish their fruits. Particularly, the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force devotes their

life

and

health

to workplaces, which results in numerous detrimental habits, including a sedentary lifestyle, and

smoke

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

addiction.

As a result

, the money they earn is not for

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

or shopping,

this

pays for drug costs of obesity and lung disease.

Besides

, the relationships between the public and households are of paramount importance to any worker. Specifically, while working environments provide stress and deadlines, family is the place that supplies sympathy and relaxation to workers.

Moreover

, meeting with friends is

also

a factor which provides a more vibrant

life

for them. In summary, even though I must admit that pursuing a successful occupation is the top priority of each individual, we should

also

take care of our

health

carefully

Replace the word

care

show examples

, since we are unable to perform anything well without

health

Submitted by nttung.182 on Mon Jan 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.
In this contemporary society, criminal cases have significantly increased in some countries, and it is known that young generations are the main actors contributing to the problems. There are three factors that stem from these challenges, while a number of solutions are remedied to overcome this motion which will be discussed in this essay.
5
band
Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?
The comparison of standards of the cities and small town or villages has been always a debate. Recently, teenagers choose to live in the cities rather than their home villages because of school or job opportunities. This essay will discuss multiple reasons behind this trend and explain why the advantages of being in a city do indeed outweigh its drawbacks.
7
band
Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?
Educational theories have become recently varied and numerous and each theory uses a different method to achieve the target, which is the best achievement and outcome in the learning process.This essay will discuss two opposing concepts, the first one claims that offering different subjects within a school day is more effective than elucidating many lessons on the same subject a day. the opinion will be presented at the end.
4
band
In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Recently, there have been many countries with a lot of highly qualities graduates who do not have jobs. There are several reasons, mainly it are not workplaces which suitable for their major and low wages. I wholeheartedly believe, the government should make regulation payments and provide training.
4.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is undeniable that nowadays people are experiencing a last longer life, comparing to the past. While some people believe that facing this phenomenon turns out various problems for governments, other argue that having more the older brings advantages to society. This essay will examined both views in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached.

10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.