10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career

It is believed that in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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light of the crucial role of work,

life

will become worthless if lacking it. From my perspective,

this

opinion is completely false due to its disadvantages for

health

and stress. My viewpoint would be explained in detail below. On the one hand, it is undeniable that humans are unable to survive in the long run without jobs. Indeed, a distinguished career would distribute manifold economic advantages for employees. To be specific, they offer workers monthly earnings, which would increase as they perform well and climb the career ladder. Better still, a significant number of enterprises supply incentives for workers’ families, namely insurance services, or yearly tours.

Additionally

, successful businessmen gain respect from society. Admittedly, most staff always expect to achieve triumph in their occupation and they witness someone, who already succeeds as their role model. In fact, numerous job-seekers pay hundreds of millions

VND

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of VND

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to acquire experience from CEOs of major corporations in Vietnam.

On the other hand

, a meaningful

life

demands more factors than fortune and reputation.

A powerful

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Powerful

show examples

health

is necessary for employees to truly relish their fruits. Particularly, the

labor

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labour

show examples

force devotes their

life

and

health

to workplaces, which results in numerous detrimental habits, including a sedentary lifestyle, and

smoke

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

addiction.

As a result

, the money they earn is not for

traveling

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travelling

show examples

or shopping,

this

pays for drug costs of obesity and lung disease.

Besides

, the relationships between the public and households are of paramount importance to any worker. Specifically, while working environments provide stress and deadlines, family is the place that supplies sympathy and relaxation to workers.

Moreover

, meeting with friends is

also

a factor which provides a more vibrant

life

for them. In summary, even though I must admit that pursuing a successful occupation is the top priority of each individual, we should

also

take care of our

health

carefully

Replace the word

care

show examples

, since we are unable to perform anything well without

health

Submitted by nttung.182 on Mon Jan 02 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions.

Some people believe that universities should only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that hard work and determination are the main requirements to become successful in life, while others say there are other factors lead to success. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

In many countries, plastic bags are one the main sources of damage to the environment, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialized and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.