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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

10/01/13: Some people think that work is the most important thing of people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career
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It is believed that in
the
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apply
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light of the crucial role of work,
life
 will become worthless if lacking it. From my perspective,
this
 opinion is completely false due to its disadvantages for
health
 and stress. My viewpoint would be explained in detail below. On the one hand, it is undeniable that humans are unable to survive in the long run without jobs. Indeed, a distinguished career would distribute manifold economic advantages for employees. To be specific, they offer workers monthly earnings, which would increase as they perform well and climb the career ladder. Better still, a significant number of enterprises supply incentives for workers’ families, namely insurance services, or yearly tours.
Additionally
, successful businessmen gain respect from society. Admittedly, most staff always expect to achieve triumph in their occupation and they witness someone, who already succeeds as their role model. In fact, numerous job-seekers pay hundreds of millions
VND
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of VND
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 to acquire experience from CEOs of major corporations in Vietnam.
On the other hand
, a meaningful
life
 demands more factors than fortune and reputation.
A powerful
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Powerful
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health
 is necessary for employees to truly relish their fruits. Particularly, the
labor
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labour
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 force devotes their
life
 and
health
 to workplaces, which results in numerous detrimental habits, including a sedentary lifestyle, and
smoke
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smoking
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 addiction.
As a result
, the money they earn is not for
traveling
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travelling
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 or shopping,
this
 pays for drug costs of obesity and lung disease.
Besides
, the relationships between the public and households are of paramount importance to any worker. Specifically, while working environments provide stress and deadlines, family is the place that supplies sympathy and relaxation to workers.
Moreover
, meeting with friends is
also
 a factor which provides a more vibrant
life
 for them. In summary, even though I must admit that pursuing a successful occupation is the top priority of each individual, we should
also
 take care of our
health
carefully
Replace the word
care
show examples
, since we are unable to perform anything well without
health
.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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