IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Ordinary people try to copy famous people either reading magazines or watching TV. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

#people #copy #magazines #tv #idea
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In
modern
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the modern
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 world, social media or TV have effects on society. Some
people
 often try to copy celebrities. They think
to look
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looking
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 like a celebrity is cool, but in my
opinion
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,opinion
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this
 could have some serious results. Most
people
 dream about a better
life
. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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, they follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
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celebrities. They show us the keys
of
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to
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happier
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a happier
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 and better
life
 and they share their routines and philosophy. I don’t think they are realistic for most
people
.
To begin
with
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,with
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 different
life
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 between ordinary and famous
people
, while ordinary
people
 work 8 hours per day, famous
people
 probably work less than them.
Also
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,Also
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 famous
people
 earn much more money, so that changes their
life
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
. They used to using expensive brands and to have time for themselves.
On the other hand
, ordinary
people
 can not spend as much
as
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apply
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money because they barely afford
for
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apply
show examples
their needs. If
an
Correct article usage
apply
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ordinary
people
 try to copy a celebrity, there will be negative economical results for
this
 action.
In addition
, I think
people
 are perfect with differences. If
everbody
Correct your spelling
everybody
 copies
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 celebrities,
then
 they all look like same (same nose, make-up, style, etc).
This
 is not
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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psychology.
People
 could think, they are behind the others when they couldn’t catch the trends. Especially teenagers and young adults should be careful about themselves. Are they really want to get something or
they
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do they
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 want
because
Correct pronoun usage
it because
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 it is trendy? In conclusion,
act
Wrong verb form
acting
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 like someone, who
are’t
Correct your spelling
aren’t
are
 you
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be expensive and overwhelming. It may lead to financial difficulties and depression.
Submitted by ebeyza34 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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