IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
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Nowadays, we all run behind in processed
foods
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 and artificially flavoured drinks and it will create more and more health problems.If we hike the
price
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 of sugary
products
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people
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 will have a chance to buy lesser count.
However
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, I disagree with that point because if manufacturers increase the
price
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 of processed
foods
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 most
people
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 buy those kinds of stuff .in the essay let us review my point of view.
Firstly
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, most manufactured
foods
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 and drinks contain a high level of sugar and
this
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 sugar will increase obesity in
human
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humans
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.Especially, our younger generation is fully addicted to particular
products
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such
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 as chocolate,noodles and flavoured drinks.If we increased the
price
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 of the
products
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 more
people
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 ready to buy the goods but
that is
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 not a solution .we have to be aware of unhealthy diets and need to teach our kids to get good nutrition.
For example
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, manufacturers increased the
price
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 of dairy milk which is a chocolate concern but consumers didn't care about the
price
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 of the product because
people
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 liked it much and that taste tempts their minds.
On the other hand
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, Advertisements for junk food
shows
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show
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 off everywhere like
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on
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television , smartphones and the internet etc.
People
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 are forced to watch adverts in cinemas and a lot of advertisement popups
displays
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are displays
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 on mobile so most
people
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 are attracted to that visual .
price
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 hike is not a solution for reducing to intake the of sugary
products
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 we have to modulate those
products
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 with less sugar .recent times, most of the children affected tooth decay and obesity due to intake of high-level sugary
products
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. To sum up, In our hectic ,lifestyle we all have to focus on our health and take good nutrition
foods
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 and need to focus on more advertisements and campaigns for processed and sugary
products
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.
Submitted by keyarthi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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