In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#cultures #children

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In many nations around the world,

children

Use synonyms

are usually been told that if they

work

Use synonyms

hard, they can get anything that they want. There are some benefits and drawbacks towards

this

Linking Words

saying. On the one hand, the merits of telling

children

Use synonyms

that they can achieve anything in life only if they

work

Use synonyms

hard enough

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will encourage them to

work

Use synonyms

harder to achieve a certain goal that they wanted.

This

Linking Words

can give a child the idea that what they are doing will be worth it in the end.

Hence

Linking Words

, they will put more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

into what they are doing to achieve their goals.

In addition

Linking Words

, it will

also

Linking Words

give

children

Use synonyms

a clear goal to strive towards.

This

Linking Words

can help

children

Use synonyms

determine what they want and have a clear step to achieve those goals.

For instance

Linking Words

, in order to study abroad in Canada, foreign students have to complete certain

criterias

Correct your spelling

criteria

such

Linking Words

as IELTS, their study plan, and their finances. With the aforementioned benefits, there is a major drawback

Change preposition

show examples

doing

this

Linking Words

. It would heavily damage the

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

self-esteem and

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

when they failed. Some goals are

unachieveable

Correct your spelling

unachievable

achievable

, and people telling

children

Use synonyms

that they can achieve anything with hard

work

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will lead them to failure.

Thus

Linking Words

, giving them false

perception

Fix the agreement mistake

perceptions

show examples

about life and

also

Linking Words

broke

Wrong verb form

breaking

show examples

their

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, telling

children

Use synonyms

that they can create a time machine, which is theoretically impossible, to go back in time and fix their mistakes

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

that they do something wrong. In conclusion, encouraging

children

Use synonyms

by telling them that they can attain anything just by hard

work

Use synonyms

does have

Change the pronoun

its

show examples

merits by giving them a clear goal and motivation to

work

Use synonyms

hard, but

also

Linking Words

have a major disadvantage that it will damage the child

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

when they fail.

Submitted by NHD on Mon Jan 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Perseverance
Resilience
Self-esteem
Confidence
Goal-setting
Work ethic
Ambitious
Unrealistic expectations
Frustration
Inadequate
Overemphasis
Stress
Pressure
Mental health
Resource availability

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Family structure and its members' roles have undergone tremendous changes over the few past decades. The traditional extended model has gradually been reshaped into more diverse forms; family dynamics have also shifted towards more gender equality. In my opinion, the positivity of this movement eclipses its drawbacks.
<4
band
Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people believe that spending time on drawing and music reduces quality of life.
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.
It is claimed by some individuals that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, ought to be cancelled from the school syllabus so that students have the opportunity to focusing on academic work. In my opinion, both non-academic and academic subjects should be taught children by the school.
7
band
These days, there are many different news platforms. What are the functions of news. Is all news in these platforms true?
In today’s world, with the abundance of various news outlets, understanding the functions of news becomes essential. News serves diverse roles in society, such as providing information and raising awareness. However, the reliability of the information they provide In these news can sometimes be questioned
6.5
band
Some people think the increasing use of technology in the workplace is good for young people’s prospects of gaining a job are harder for old people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people hold the view that using technology in the workplace brings many benefits for the young generation to find a job. In contrast, others think that older people can have difficult ties in applying for it. From my observation, I partly agree with this opinion that if older have to learn how to use modern equipment, they will easily lose their jobs.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Your opinion

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.

These days, there are many different news platforms. What are the functions of news. Is all news in these platforms true?

Some people think the increasing use of technology in the workplace is good for young people’s prospects of gaining a job are harder for old people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?