Sports should be made mandatory for all children as it helps in their physical health. Do you agree or disagree?

#sports #children #health

Nowadays,

children

's health issues

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

increased because of technology. The child

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

suffered

obsity

Correct your spelling

obesity

because they become lazy.

Therefore

sports

activities should be compulsory in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

. There are numerous advantages that focused on

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

. So, I agree with

this

point of view and I

also

give

explanation

Add an article

an explanation

the explanation

show examples

in the ensuing paragraphs.

To begin

with, there are various benefits of

sports

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be made compulsory for all

children

Firstly

, when

school

should mandatory subject as

sports

which helps

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

a children

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health problem

such

obsity

Correct your spelling

obesity

and

also

increased physical strength but

also

improve mental

states

Fix the agreement mistake

state

show examples

Moreover

, if

sports

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

started

Change preposition

show examples

earlier age like yoga, outdoor games and athletics,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would be

Correct article usage

a hebit

show examples

hebit

Correct your spelling

habit

hit

in the future that it became helps

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people's health

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

older age.

For example

, the sportsman

M.S.Dhoni

Correct your spelling

M.S. Dhoni

started playing cricket in his childhood and he keeps his body fit. These days, he

Change the verb form

is also following

is also followed

show examples

also

fitness

Correct article usage

a fitness

show examples

regima

Correct your spelling

regime

regimen

and he become fit.

In addition

, when

school

should be made

mandatory

Correct article usage

a mandatory

show examples

physical subject, it would

be helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to find passion

those

Change preposition

in those

show examples

children

who started their carrier in

sportsperson

Add an article

a sportsperson

show examples

Furthermore

, the game which playing in

group

Add an article

a group

the group

show examples

, it would teach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

such

as organisation, leadership,

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

and other more. Another, positive

outcomes

Fix the agreement mistake

outcome

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

including

sports

as a part of

school's

Correct article usage

the school's

show examples

subject

Change the verb form

are

show examples

that

via

Change preposition

show examples

doing these

sports

, they will keep themselves fit and healthy. Indeed,

this

healthy body will produce the power needed to fight numerous diseases.

For instance

, seldom

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

any

athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

suffer from cardiac problems. In conclusion, thanks to the influence of

sports

on improving

children

's physical status. I believe that it has become an essential issue to make physical education compulsory at schooling time.

Submitted by jeetkacha13 on Mon Jan 02 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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