The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing concern for many
people
Use synonyms
around the world is to stop overpopulation in metropolitan
areas
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. Some commentators are of the view that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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has to
take
Verb problem
impose
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some restrictions so that migration
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
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, from
undeveloped
Correct article usage
the undeveloped
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area to
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
area. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
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opinion. Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why
people
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believe that
developed
Correct article usage
a developed
show examples
area is good for living.
Firstly
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, get better knowledge from well-known institutions,
such
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as universities, colleges, and schools. To be
precise
Punctuation problem
precise,
show examples
it will magnify a child's brain capacity.
For example
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, infants will be able to perform more than one task at once.
Secondly
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,
people
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find
better salary
Use the right word
better-paying
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jobs.
This
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is because every human has
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own ambitions, which need to come true.So, where
people
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get lower wages
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
work in rural
areas
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,
people
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are now getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
. In that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
way
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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will be able to accumulate some money to complete their dreams in future. Despite these arguments, there is
also
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a case for the idea that can help to prevent
people
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to migrate in cities.Perhaps the main reason why
people
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feel that
this
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is a good idea is that it will help to fertile the rural landscape. Unlike in the past, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
today spends money to build shopping complexes, health facilities, convenient transport services,
build
Correct word choice
and build
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schools,
then
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lower wages
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people
Check wording
apply
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don't have to shift to city
areas
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.
As a result
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, old age
people
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don't have to suffer from a lack of health services, as they get
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
better services in their nearest
areas
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.
Furthermore
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,
people
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will get a better environment or
flexible
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a flexible
show examples
job within their nearest place with double
salary
Correct pronoun usage
their salary
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
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is a topic which is very relevant to
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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world
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world's
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people
Use synonyms
's lives. That said,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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feel that in
this
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way the government can control the overcrowding situations in cities.

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language
The plan is clear, but many sentences are a bit long and hard to read. Break ideas into small, simple sentences.
structure
Give a real clear view of your own idea at the end and keep to it throughout.
coherence
Link your ideas well. Use words like but, so, also, because to show how ideas connect.
task
Give more exact, simple examples to support the claim.
language
Check grammar and use simple words. Some phrases are odd or wrong.
content
The essay covers both sides of the issue and ends with a view.
structure
There is a clear effort to state an overall opinion.
structure
It is organized into sections with a separate opinion.
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