IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The death penalty is the best form of punishment for people who commit serious crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 is essential to punish serious criminals while others disagree. I personally think the benefits of
this
Linking Words
penalty
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages for our
society
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will highlight both views and state my personal opinion. The biggest concern
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 is the ethical problem of killing someone. To elaborate, every human has a fundamental right to live their life on their terms even if they committed a harsh
crime
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who has murdered another human being should be allowed the opportunity to live and reeducate
instead
Linking Words
 of being put to
death
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the prisoner may have some underlying trauma from their past that may have caused them to commit their
crime
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 allowing them to have a
second
Linking Words
 chance at life would be important for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a role in making a better
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 can reduce the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate, as no one wants to be punished by their
death
Use synonyms
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
 reducing the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the reduction of
crime
Use synonyms
,
society
Use synonyms
 can be protected by the existence of
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, once criminals are executed, the cost of living (covered by
societies
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 taxes) is now reduced.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
necessary
Replace the word
necessity
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 creates some ethical problems as any human being cannot control others’
death
Use synonyms
, the role of
Use synonyms
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 is important for our
society
Use synonyms
. I personally think that the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 is something necessary so good citizens can live safely, and taxes are used for the citizens,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: