Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?
In
this
modern world, people use social media
for the sake of information and to keep in touch with others. however
, in social platforms, everything is found on it. I think it has more positive impact rather than negative aspects.
on the one hand, there are myriads of advantages to using social apps, like people communicating with each other when they are far from others, and getting knowledge about other countries when they are planning to visit the nation. Furthermore
, people hear the news about any circumstances. For instance
, Japan is living a modern life and is covered with full of resources, they spread their product marketing through social media
apps like YouTube, Snapchat, and Instagram. In addition
, foreign students have access to engage with peers and parents. Moreover
, the internet
has a variety of collections about the fashion industry.
Probing ahead, media
has many negative consequences; like hacking, misuse of pictures by using AI tools, and interference in personal contexts. For example
, one of the Iraq boys hacked all of the government information of Israel and leaked sensible information on the internet
. therefore
, much violent content has been spread on YouTube that directly affects the mind and increases stress and anxiety. Moreover
, a Google survey has been published on the misuse of the internet
because most teenagers use porn sites that affect their mentality.
to conclude
, it is frequently believed by many internet
users that social media
has its only good side and perks. But that statement is wrong as it can also
have its downsides. In my opinion, I believe that anyone can benefit from it if used correctly.Submitted by alviusman18 on
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task response
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to clearly indicate your stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
More specific examples, particularly in the second paragraph, could help strengthen your argument. Providing concrete examples can make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs lack internal cohesion. Ensure that all sentences within a paragraph contribute to and support the main point of that paragraph.
task response
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media, which shows thorough consideration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reiterates the main point, providing a sense of closure.