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Band 5.5

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people
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Nowadays,
TV
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 is a common electronic device that many
people
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 spend too much
time
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 on.
Television
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 dominates lots of
time
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 and has numerous harmful effects on
people
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.
Television
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 makes
people
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 lazy and prevents them from socialising. I totally agree with
this
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 statement.
Television
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 is an incredible invention of the 20th century. After decades, it became more common in
people
Use synonyms
's
life
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.
This
Linking Words
 device changed society's habits. Early
time
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,
people
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 were getting together to watch
TV
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 because everybody doesn't have one. After a while, it became cheaper. Eventually, every house has got at least one.
Television
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 gives
people
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 cheap and easy entertainment. That's why
people
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 choose to watch
TV
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instead
Linking Words
 of doing something in real
life
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. In the modern world,
people
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 have to work
for
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apply
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long hours. When they arrive home, they are looking for something relaxing, cheap and easy to consume. In that situation,
TV
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 meets all the needs of workers.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 technology is not beneficial anymore. Duration of focusing is decreased because of
television
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. It's so colourful and dynamic and it became normal anymore to
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 brain and eyes.
As a result
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 of
this
Linking Words
 normalization, other activities
such
Linking Words
 as reading
,
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apply
show examples
 became boring to individuals.
People
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 are used to easy entertainment so doing activities is too hard for most of them. Especially poor
people
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 watch it more
,
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apply
show examples
 because social activities could be expensive, even free options.
For example
Linking Words
, they might need proper outfits or money for snacks.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is not healthy for human psychology. Most things on
TV
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 are fictional but
people
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 don't know about them. They wonder
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 fake
life
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 which they saw on
TV
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. After that, so many
people
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 became upset,
therefore
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 they don't have a
life
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 like that. In conclusion,
TV
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 is a great device. It is getting cheaper every year.
However
Linking Words
, it is not healthy anymore.
People
Use synonyms
 spend less
time
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 on
TV
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 and they should focus on their real
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ebeyza34 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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