IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people who have been in prison are the best to talk to school students about the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #school #students #danger #crime
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It is true to say that, talking with some people who have been in jail for a long time are
good
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a good
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 way to school students about the threat of committing
a
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an
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 offence. I definitely agree with
this
Linking Words
 situation that, it is the best idea to turn back children from a
crime
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. One of the
reason
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reasons
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 for using ex-prisoner to talk about the drawbacks of
crimes
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 for teenagers is that they are familiar with the consequences of committing
crimes
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 better than anyone else. They not only
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
prison
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 sentences themselves but
also
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 saw life-sentence or execution for
othe
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other
rprisoners
Correct your spelling
prisoners
.
Furthermore
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, by talking about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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severe punishments, kids may understand clearly that every action has its drawbacks and they should be very careful about their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 in
the
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apply
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society. From a psychological
standpoint
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,standpoint
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 the
ex-prisoners'
Correct your spelling
ex-prisoners
ex-prisoner's
 talking about
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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 of
crimes
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 deters
youngesters
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youngsters
 from committing
crimes
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.
However
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, some people and I
also
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 argue that longer
prison
Use synonyms
 is not a practical solution because prisoner will live with other criminals which demotivate them and their character will not improve. One solution is that government can provide separate schooling means practical skills to those prisoners who want to improve their lives.Even though longer
prison
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 generates fear
inthe
Correct your spelling
in the
 criminals' mind which discourage them from committing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 but proper education, job opportunities and knowledge of practical skills
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the better solution
instead
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 of longer
prison
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. To conclude, I reiterate my opinion
by
Correct your spelling
be
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said
Wrong verb form
saying
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 that some people think that the best way to reduce
crime
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 is to give longer
prison
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 sentences. Others,
however
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, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing
crime
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. I absolutely agree with
this
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 situation.
Submitted by asqar4997 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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