IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Philippine has the highest population all over the world. Do you agree or disagree?

#philippine #population #world
The bar graph illustrates the telephone call in the UK which
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
show examples
 into local, national and international and utilizing mobile with all calls between
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1995 and 2002. The figure being used is
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of minutes in
billions
. Overall,
local-fixed
Correct article usage
the local-fixed
show examples
line
 accounts
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 highest category in the record followed by
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 and
international -fixed
Correct your spelling
international-fixed
show examples
line
. And, using mobile holds the lowest group in the graph. Local calls recorded approximately 70 minutes (
billions
)
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1995, as much as half of the usage of national and international call
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
. Mobile calls placed the lowest with
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 of roughly 3 minutes in
billions
.
Consequently
,
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
line
 achieved its peak level after 4 consecutive years which recorded approximately 90
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 similar in the
year
 1999,
hence
, it gradually declined and return to its original total number
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 70 billion at the end of
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2002. The national and international sub-type is slowly increasing from
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1995 until 2002 which recorded approximately 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
. While mobile calls gradually increased for the past 8 years but
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 recorded as the lowest among the three
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
.
Still
Add a comma
,Still
show examples
 local
line
 holds the highest record similar to the
year
 it started.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: