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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
‘Who does not
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a past, does not
has
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have
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 a future’
this
 sentence clearly states that the past of the person is a part of his future and we should not
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neglect
be neglected
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neglected
Correct pronoun usage
neglected it
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.
this
 is
also
 applied
on
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to
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 our elderly, our
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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, grandparents, uncles, aunts, …etc. Taking
care
 of
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
eldedies
Correct your spelling
elderly
 is so important
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 when it comes to their
health
. Today's
health
care
 is showing a huge
improve
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 and because of that, society has to
care
 more for our
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
 generation. In my opinion, I think that societies will be able to adjust
with
Change preposition
to
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 the
increas
Correct your spelling
increase
 of elder people and I will explain that in the coming lines. In general,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people are becoming more and more aware
about
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of
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 their
health
,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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, gym and
sport
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sports
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, clubs are not only occupied by
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
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,
on
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in
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 contrast, the elders now are
gir paying
Verb problem
getting
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 more attention to their
body
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bodies
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. They are
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 to a strict diet, playing many
sport
Change to a plural noun
sports
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 and attending sports classes.
And as
Correct word choice
As
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 you know playing sports and taking
care
 of your body will decrease the percentage of having diabetes, high blood pressure or
cholestrol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
 which can end
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 person's life
in
Change preposition
at
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 a very early stage. So, because of
this
 awareness, I think that in the future you won't be able to spot
the
Correct article usage
an
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 old lady or man between a group of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
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,
becaus
Correct your spelling
because
 they will be in
a
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apply
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good shape and good
health
 as well. The second reason, in my opinion, is that Currently most
of
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apply
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Countries
Add an article
the Countries
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 are forcing all the
citizes
Correct your spelling
citizens
cities
 to have
a
Remove the article
apply
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medical insurance, which in my opinion is very practical. In the past, most of the sick
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
, who are suffering from Chronic
dieses
Correct your spelling
diseases
, will not go to the doctor or they might go for once and never follow up again
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
 if they have financial issues. But when you have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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insurance that will cover all your
health
 conditions, for sure you will use it and
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
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 will lead to
reduce
Wrong verb form
a reduction in
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 the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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severe conditions.
Moreover
, it will give the country the chance to take
care
 of those who
needs
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need
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high
Replace the word
highly
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 intensive treatments.
Finally
, I think that
,
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apply
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 we are on the
door step
Correct your spelling
doorstep
show examples
for
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of
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 a magnificent generation armed with a huge
awarence
Correct your spelling
awareness
, with perfect
health
 and gorgeous bodies. They will give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society the space to be able to take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
care
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patients with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high cronic
dieses
Correct your spelling
diseases
 and for
which it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 we will proudly look and say "
those
Capitalize word
Those
show examples
 are our
eldrlies
Correct your spelling
elderly
”.
Submitted by dalia_saf on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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