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Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

#people #influence #child #development #factors #friends #television #music
There is considerable debate over whether family or external factors
such
 as friends, television, and music have the greatest impact on a
child’s
 development.
While
 both play important roles, I believe that family remains the most powerful influence, particularly in shaping a
child’s
 core values and early
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
However
, the growing presence of external
influences
 cannot be underestimated, especially as
children
 grow older. Supporters of the view that family is the primary influence argue that family provides the foundational environment where
children
 learn values, manners, and social norms. Parents and close family members are often the first role models, teaching
children
 through daily interactions and setting boundaries that shape their understanding of acceptable
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
,
children
 who grow up in supportive families tend to exhibit stronger emotional resilience, as they learn how to handle conflict and challenges through observed family dynamics.
This
 foundation becomes a framework they can rely on throughout life, which is difficult for external
influences
 to replace fully.
On the other hand
, friends, television, and music offer powerful alternative perspectives that can significantly impact a
child’s
 personality and interests, particularly during adolescence. Friends often shape social habits and interests,
while
 media sources expose
children
 to diverse ideas and trends.
For instance
,
children
 who are exposed to educational programs or inspiring music may develop a keen interest in learning or creativity.
Similarly
, peer relationships can influence
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, encouraging traits like teamwork and empathy, or
conversely
, risk-taking and rebelliousness. In my opinion,
while
 external
influences
 shape specific interests and social
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
,
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 remains the strongest determinant of a
child’s
 core values and foundational character. A supportive family environment lays the groundwork for
children
 to critically assess external
influences
 and make balanced decisions, underscoring its irreplaceable role in development.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your examples clearly represent and support the main ideas presented, as this will enhance the credibility and relevance of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent connection between paragraphs. While the essay flows well, ensuring seamless transitions would improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints thoroughly and articulated a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, with a balance of explanation and examples to reinforce your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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