IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and TV is passive and does not require a person to use their imaginations. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#books #person’s #mind #films #tv #person #imaginations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Someone will completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 perspective that reading requires
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of attention
whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
 watching movies and TV would not require that much person's attention. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I partially agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the fact that reading does involve
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of activeness of the brain compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
watching TV and films and I will explain my standpoint with valid examples in the following essay. Reading is
such
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 activity which demands
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of presence of mind .
For example
Linking Words
 , if you are reading a
book
Use synonyms
 and if you just skim over the
content
Use synonyms
 of the
book
Use synonyms
 , you might not be able to understand the context unless you read it thoroughly and
then
Linking Words
 visualize based on what you read and understood.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
TV
Change preposition
on TV
show examples
 or
stream
Wrong verb form
streaming
show examples
content
Use synonyms
, you don't have to build the imagination of what is being shown as it is already visible and you just have to
see
Correct pronoun usage
itsee
show examples
. There
little
Add a missing verb
are little
show examples
 or zero brain efforts to understand the dynamics of what is being shown.
however
Linking Words
 ,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reading a
book
Use synonyms
 with pictures and images,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could involve less activeness of
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 as we all know "pictures speak
thousand
Change the article
a thousand
show examples
 words".
However
Linking Words
, the above statement is not completely true , unless you are watching a highly intense sci-fi movie or thriller show which keeps you on the thinking edge to understand or predict the upcoming scene in the film to uncover the suspense.
Also
Linking Words
, while reading if the
content
Use synonyms
 is too boring or not interesting,
then
Linking Words
 you might lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complete track of the plot and won't find the
book
Use synonyms
 worth reading .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
movies
Add a comma
,movies
show examples
 if certain portions are not intriguing or
Correct your spelling
fascinating
facinating
Correct your spelling
fascinating
then
Linking Words
 you always go over those sections and eventually in the end you would find the conclusion of the movie
Therefore
Linking Words
 , In my closing statement for the essay , would say it altogether depends upon the
content
Use synonyms
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 reading and watching determines the level of your attentiveness.
Submitted by desaivini9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: