Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age #chilren

It is an obvious fact that education plays a part and parcel role in every student's life owing to without it life is incomplete.

Therefore

, every pupil should execute their studies at an early

age

. While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a section of people consider that they must go to

school

unless they are older. I disagree with the former statement.

However

, I shall support both viewpoints with an example. On the one hand, there are innumerable reasons which support the fact that why children should not study at an early

age

.The

first

and foremost one is that Increase competition in

school

. To be more precise, these days every parent wants to send their infants at an early

age

but due to extreme ,

competition

Add an article

a competition

the competition

show examples

they don't send them Because sometimes

students

are unable to compete with others in

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

As a result

, they become depressed.

Secondly

, Violence activities have become uncommon not only in schools but

also

colleges. To epitome, the recent headline of the tribune delineated that 40 per cent of violence every year is seen in Finland schools due to low strictness

Thus

school

students

are unable to miss study at an early

age

On the other hand

, going to

school

at an older

age

can give fruit full impact on

students

' life. The predominant one is that. mature. To be more elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, nowadays mature humans are successful owing to they take responsibility sincerely they know what is wrong or right.

Secondly

, they can not only focus on their studies but

also

find them interesting.

For example

, a recent survey conducted by Cambridge University showed that Pakistani people are more successful because they study at an older

age

Hence

, they can get lucrative jobs everywhere and full fill their basic needs. To conclude, studying at an early

age

might give a detrimental effect on the juvenile body along with

deteriorate

Replace the word

deterioration

show examples

of their extrovert behaviour due

Change preposition

show examples

high competition ,

However

, if

students

opt to start their

school

journey at an older

age

then

, it might be good for their academics.

Submitted by dhillonkirat19 on Wed Jan 04 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

337 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.