Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is an obvious fact that education plays a part and parcel role in every student's life owing to without it life is incomplete.
Therefore
, every pupil should execute their studies at an early
age
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a section of people consider that they must go to
school
unless they are older. I disagree with the former statement.
However
, I shall support both viewpoints with an example. On the one hand, there are innumerable reasons which support the fact that why children should not study at an early
age
.The
first
and foremost one is that Increase competition in
school
. To be more precise, these days every parent wants to send their infants at an early
age
but due to extreme ,
competition
Add an article
a competition
the competition
show examples
they don't send them Because sometimes
students
are unable to compete with others in
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
As a result
, they become depressed.
Secondly
, Violence activities have become uncommon not only in schools but
also
colleges. To epitome, the recent headline of the tribune delineated that 40 per cent of violence every year is seen in Finland schools due to low strictness
Thus
,
school
students
are unable to miss study at an early
age
.
On the other hand
, going to
school
at an older
age
can give fruit full impact on
students
' life. The predominant one is that. mature. To be more elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, nowadays mature humans are successful owing to they take responsibility sincerely they know what is wrong or right.
Secondly
, they can not only focus on their studies but
also
find them interesting.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by Cambridge University showed that Pakistani people are more successful because they study at an older
age
.
Hence
, they can get lucrative jobs everywhere and full fill their basic needs. To conclude, studying at an early
age
might give a detrimental effect on the juvenile body along with
deteriorate
Replace the word
deterioration
show examples
of their extrovert behaviour due
Change preposition
to
show examples
high competition ,
However
, if
students
opt to start their
school
journey at an older
age
then
, it might be good for their academics.
Submitted by dhillonkirat19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: