IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view

#people #animals #captivity #zoos #humans #debate
There is an ongoing discussion regarding animal rights. A group of individuals claim that we don't need to promote the culture of zoos, while others believe that it has benefits for animals. No doubt,
this
 situation has both pros and cons.
To begin
 with, I will elaborate on the opinions who give their favour the promotion of zoos. Some people love tourism, they want to see new things in order to reduce their curiosity.
Furthermore
, some consider that if children see animals with its eye
then
 they can easily boost their knowledge.
For example
, I firmly believe that children can learn more from practice
instead
 of visualisation. On the other ,hand I am going to discuss the former opinion, Independence is the bottom line for everyone it may human or not. Personally, I experienced that I was visiting the Lahore zoo and the authorities were trying to make fly the falcon which was captured a few years ago and kept in a cage. I was shocked he totally forgot how he can fly. In conclusion, I want to say that just because of your fun doesn't create a mess in animal life. In ,schools we can use animate objects. I would like to give my vote against the captivity of animals. And the government should
also
 pay attention to
this
 matter.
Submitted by afvirk786 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: