IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that good health is very important to everyone so medical service should not be run by profit- making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #health #service #profit- #companies #care
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The welfare lifestyle is so significant to live
longly
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lonely
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. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the
iverall
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overall
 effect of these private corporations has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary,
i
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I
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 personally believe that the benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 far outweigh its drawbacks these benefits are twofold
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is an indisputable fact that the companies operate the medical service privately, the clients might have a high quality of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 because
Use synonyms
government
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the government
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 runs the private
the
Correct article usage
apply
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elevated service for the
patiens
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patients
patient
. As everyone knows, paying lots of money might give back a good result.
Thus
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, the customers of the
componies
Correct your spelling
companies
 might be given satisfied
result
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results
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 when the policy is run by the profit-making organizations.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other words, there are some disservices when some companies do not treat the medical
care
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 when
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government
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the government
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 runs the private
health
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care
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then
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 all individuals have to pay more prices for tax because
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 would need money to conserve
the
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apply
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health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 as well-being.
Furthermore
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, it obligates
tak8ng
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taking
a
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an
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l9ng
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long
 time because all
people
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inclined
Add a missing verb
are inclined
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 to take the service step by step.
For instance
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, most
people
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 would agree that the
olders
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soldiers
 who suffer from
ilness
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illness
 would be inceptive
patiens
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patients
patient
 to take a
tretment
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treatment
statement
 and
then
Linking Words
 young
people
Use synonyms
 may have the late process. So the
government
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 has to offer the
plansfor
Correct your spelling
plans for
plan for
 all
people
Use synonyms
 equally. By way of conclusion, in spite of the fact that some advantages of the medical services
owning
Wrong verb form
owned
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 by the
corparations
Correct your spelling
corporations
corporation
 are
required
Add a comma
,required
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 must be not handled by them. Because all citizens desire to have equal chances
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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