Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,

advertisements

are widely known by societies. Some individuals claim that advertising is significantly successful at convincing

people

to shop for items,

while

others think that advertising is a norm that it is no longer has the ability to gain attraction. In the following paragraph, I will discuss the circumstances on each side and provide my opinion as well. On one hand, it is a cyber era these days, in which

advertisements

can be simply discovered. The appearance of advertising is

in nowhere

Verb problem

not

show examples

that is

embedded in individuals’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For instance

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

videos that

people

watched

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

often have implied countless

advertisements

during the play. These lead to adverse effects and annoy

people

if too many

advertisements

have appeared. So, most

people

are done with it and ignore the attendance of

advertisements

On the other hand

, advertising promotes the growth of items’ sales. It attracts and

rises

Correct your spelling

raises

show examples

the individuals’ desire to achieve an item.

For example

, a massage chair advertisement claims that it provides comfortable usage,

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

show examples

also

helps

people

to ease their tension which is essential for the stressful work life of today's society.

Hence

, advertising does play a role

well

Rephrase

apply

show examples

in persuading individuals to shop. In conclusion,

although

advertising can be found everywhere which is a common phenomenon and may be unattractive, it still manages to capture

people

's needs and to buy with willingness. In my opinion, I believe that advertising has its positive and negative effects. So, I am standing on the fence as it does fulfil some of my

desire

Fix the agreement mistake

desires

show examples

, but sometimes it annoys me, especially when it appears in my mailbox.

Submitted by yeejing2009 on Wed Jan 04 2023

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Content

The overall structure of the essay is good with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs each discussing a view, and a conclusion. However, there are a few inaccuracies in language use and some ideas could be more fully developed. Also, spelling and proper use of conjunctions ('as' instead of 'as well') need to be addressed.

Examples

You are presenting relevant examples to support your points. However, they could be more specific and strong to strengthen your argument.

Language Use

Avoid using ambiguous expressions like 'standing on the fence', which can lead to confusion. It’s essential that your personal position be clear and easy to understand.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employers who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree.

Scientists have been warning for many years about protecting the environment and that people must limit the use of energy in their daily lives. Despite warnings, many people do not do so. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to protect the environment?

The picture below shows the difference in the layout of the conference centre in 2010 and 2025.

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.