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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in city while other believe a bicycle is a better way. Discuss both both view and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 contemporary era, since
transportation
Use synonyms
 has improved a lot, we can find many alternatives to reach our destinations. Among those, using the car is the most common meanwhile it impacts negatively our environment.
However
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, it is
also
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 undeniable that bicycles are gaining much popularity among people who care about our planet. But, both might have some advantages and major drawbacks evenly. Using automobiles is one of the major
transportation
Use synonyms
 as it makes people travel effectively and efficiently. People can choose different options
such
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 as utilizing their own cars to go to the job or they can use affordable public
transportation
Use synonyms
 based on their preference.By car transport, they can arrive at their destinations on time
while
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 saving their physical energy. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, automobile
transportation
Use synonyms
 is one of the major sources of air pollution.
For example
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, it is irrefutable that since cars
had been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 introduced, the rate of air pollution has risen respectively. Other proponents
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that bicycle is a better choice for the sake of environmental issues.
In addition
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, it would save many costs when we use bikes
instead
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 of cars
whereas
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 it will consume our time and energy relatively.
In other words
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, bikes are convenient for specific activities,
for instance
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, shopping, going errands and going nearby, they would not be the best solution for daily activities
such
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 as going to work, especially when the workplace is far from their home locations. In conclusion, both
transportation
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 methods outweigh the pros and cons of each other regarding environmental pollution and physical energy consumption. Having said that, I personally argue that car
transportation
Use synonyms
 is a better solution compared to bikes. I think that we would advance our automobile
transportation
Use synonyms
 into less environmentally damaging technology.

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coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas needs to be improved. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop the introduction and conclusion further to provide a clearer overview of the essay. Make sure to address all parts of the task prompt in detail.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Ensure that your ideas are well-developed and supported throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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