IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries
There are many
people
 and
communities
 in
this
world
 who are deserving of help. It is argued by many that with seven billion
people
 around the
world
, it is very difficult to help everyone so our focus only should be on the local
communities
 and our country. I completely disagree with
this
 statement because I believe we should help as much as we can and wherever it is needed.
This
 essay will explain the factors leading to my opinion.
To begin
 with,
people
 around the
world
 are suffering from different types of problems and in some cases the whole community needs help.
For example
, in case of war or in case of natural disaster the whole country suffers the consequences and
people
 from around the
world
 should help them.
For instance
, in Yemen and in Ukraine
people
 are facing the consequences of wars which have been going on for months. In
such
 cases, the
world
 should help those
people
 so that at least they have a chance to live.
Secondly
, there are
people
 in
this
world
 who have enough resources for their needs and they are living
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happy life. Those
people
 should not focus only on the local
communities
; they should help wherever it is needed. There are NGOs funded by rich
people
 to support and resolve different types of issues which
people
 are facing. To name a few Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and WHO. To conclude, though it is true that the
first
 and initial focus of help should be the local
communities
, it is unfair to the
people
 who are living in underdeveloped countries or facing a natural disaster. So help should not be limited to only local
communities
 and countries but it should be there wherever it is needed.
Submitted by sikander.bin.ismail on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: