Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that graduating from
university
is pivotal to landing a promising job.
However
, others argue that gaining
experience
and improving interpersonal
skills
is more instrumental.
This
essay will examine these two perspectives. To commence, a plethora of factors contribute to why completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education is paramount.
Firstly
, during people’s time in
university
Add a comma
university,
show examples
they will have the opportunity to be taught by world-class professors, teaching them advanced knowledge
as well as
fundamental principles in relation to their subject.
Therefore
,
such
invaluable lessons can bolster their abilities and deepen their knowledge, which are very useful for these individuals’ future.
Additionally
, finishing undergraduate study is considered an essential requirement in pursuing a career within certain fields.
For instance
, those who aspire to become professional lawyers have to obtain a law degree before participating in the bar exam.
Conversely
, despite the advantages of finishing formal education, acquiring work-related
experience
and enhancing soft
skills
is
also
indispensable. One major reason is that, through working
experience
, people can learn how to implement their knowledge in real-life situations.
Hence
, it can prepare them to face a dynamic working environment upon graduation.
Moreover
, elevating individuals’ soft
skills
is
also
important, as many occupations often require robust management
skills
. As an example, those who
employ
Verb problem
work
show examples
in the service industry have to forge a relationship with clients, making communication and problem-solving
skills
a key in achieving a successful career. To encapsulate,
although
I believe that obtaining a
university
degree is important because of the opportunity to meet brilliant professors and it is a requirement for certain professions, gaining work
experience
and developing soft
skills
is
also
crucial. Through a balanced approach between studying, working, and practising interpersonal
skills
, I believe that students can pave the way for a prosperous career.
Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction by stating the topic more directly and clearly to capture the essence of the debate.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the transitions between paragraphs to make the argument flow more naturally.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the main points.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion and conclusion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear discussion of both views.
general
The language used is generally quite clear and accurate, demonstrating a good command of English.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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