Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years. what do you think are reasons for this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, career-changing become a trend for teenagers.The youth keep switching their work and company more frequently after a few years for several reasons.
This
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essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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trend and will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand,
to begin
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with, it is common for a young teenager to change their job because of the higher income, and
also
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they would like to gain more new knowledge.
For example
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, many companies do not offer a great salary for employees who are always doing a great job.
Additionally
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, the company environment is
also
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an important part that could lead them to choose better options.
For instance
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, they might have conflicts with other colleagues
such
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as verbal abuse by team members or they did not get a proper workstation like several staff are sharing an office table or a computer.
On the other hand
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, young society always
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
jobs
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often in their lifetime will affect their resumes as the new employer will feel that the society who keep changing
jobs
Use synonyms
are unreliable people. They will believe that these teenagers must have some hidden problems behind their resumes.
Moreover
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, Young staff could not learn the real knowledge or experiences if they just worked in a short period.
For example
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, they only can learn some basic knowledge because of didn't work long enough. When seniors try to give them more responsible tasks, they will feel stressed and choose to leave the company. In conclusion,
although
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the younger community changing
jobs
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frequently seems like not a good sign, I think that the benefits of changing
jobs
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are still more than the drawbacks.

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Language Accuracy
Consider rephrasing "career-changing become a trend" to "career changing has become a trend" for grammatical accuracy. Also, it's better to refer to 'young people' instead of 'teenagers' to cover a broader age range.
Cohesion
In the second paragraph, clarify the statement 'the company environment is also an important part that could lead them to choose better options.' It's a bit vague, try specifying what 'better options' means. Also, transitions between sentences can be improved for better flow.
Task Development
In the third paragraph, the phrase 'the young society always change jobs' could be revised to 'young people tend to change jobs frequently.' Furthermore, ensure that examples are well integrated into the argument. You could elaborate on how limited tenure leads to knowledge gaps.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear viewpoint on the advantages and disadvantages of job-hopping, which demonstrates good task achievement.
Coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present your main ideas well, facilitating understanding for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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