Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

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A portion of people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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that adventurous
sports
Use synonyms
should be restricted
while
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others say that an individual should have
Correct article usage
the fully
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fully
Change the word
full
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right to practice any game without restriction. I agree with the latter idea as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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risky
sports
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help you dig out your potential
along with
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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keep you healthy and fit. One group of
community
Add an article
the community
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believe that dangerous
sports
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activities should be discouraged as it leads to serious irreversible impairments of the body like spinal and bone injuries.
Although
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these sportsmen are highly appreciated one injury can halt their career
as well as
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daily life activities.
Moreover
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, sometimes these fatal injuries would lead to death
hence
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it argued that these activities should be banned.
For instance
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, Shoaib Akhtar, a retired fast bowler of the Pakistan cricket team, always has been in and out of the game
due to
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ankle and knee tears.
On the other hand
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, one group of people believe that risky
sports
Use synonyms
should be encouraged
it
Correct word choice
because it
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helps to bring out your capabilities with thrilling experiences.
Secondly
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, it promotes burning calories
keeps
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and keeps
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you mentally and physically fit.
In addition
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to
this
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, people get a chance to explore brand new experiences rather than living a monotonous life with stress and exhaustion.
For example
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, my friend who was stressed and bored with life went on a trip with her friends in Thailand where she did parasailing and paragliding.
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Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
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she was afraid, but
this
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activity not only helped in overcoming her fear of heights but
also
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provided her with a sense of achievement .
Overall
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I would like
to conclude
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that outdoor experience should be tried with caution to avoid any harm as it helps to build strength and willpower to
take
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make
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bigger decisions in future and to become a stronger individual .

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task response
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure and completion of response need improvement. You should address both sides of the argument and develop your ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. The ideas need to be organized more coherently, and the relationship between the paragraphs should be improved.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary. However, focus on the accurate use of academic vocabulary and some collocations to elevate the lexical resource.
grammatical range
There are some errors in sentence structure and verb tense usage. Review the use of complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement.
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