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Band 5

Some people believe that secondary school children should study international news as a subject. Others say that this is wasting time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #school #children #study #news #time
In today 's
world
 , things around the globe keep evolving at a lightning speed.
Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
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 to keep pace with the
world
 , it is imperative to know what is happening around the globe.
Therefore
, it becomes essential that
adolacent
Correct your spelling
adolescent
adolescents
 are groomed about what's going around the
world
 by including the international
news
subject
.
Although
, some folks might be against
these setup
Change the determiner
this setup
these setups
show examples
. In
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views and give my opinion.
By including
Change preposition
Including
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 international
news
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 in
secondary
Correct article usage
the secondary
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school
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
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 has many benefits .
Firstly
, it will give children insights
of
Change preposition
into
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 what is happening around the
world
 and
it's
Replace the word
its
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 effects on their country and people.
Secondly
, it will enable them
into
Change preposition
to
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Add an article
the rationale
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rationale
Correct your spelling
rational
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 and progressive thinking which enable
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 grow up as
matured
Replace the word
mature
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 individuals capable
making
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of making
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 good decisions.
Thirdly
, it will facilitate them in taking up their future career. For
eg.
Add a comma
,eg.
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 If a student has some inclination towards political affairs and he/she is exposed to that at
early
Add an article
an early
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 age
then
 he or she can make a better career out of it
However
, there are some minor drawbacks to
this
 as well. One of the possible reason could be if there get involved too much in the international
news
then
 there is
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
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 that
there
Replace the word
their
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school
 subjects might be impacted and it will overall
affects
Change the verb form
affect
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 their
school
 grade. Another downside is that if
this
subject
 is not graded
then
 students not interested would not take it seriously and eventually it would
complete
Add a missing verb
be complete
show examples
 loss of their time as nothing valuable is learnt
Therefore
, in my conclusion, I would say international
news
subject
 can be added as
elective
Add an article
an elective
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subject
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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secondary
school
 so students interested can opt
of
Change preposition
for
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 it and make
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 out of it.
Submitted by desaivini9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broaden horizons
  • cultures
  • global issues
  • critical thinking
  • engaged citizens
  • activism
  • interconnected
  • curriculum
  • workloads
  • bias
  • core subjects
  • career prospects
  • informed
  • global citizens
What to do next:
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