Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

#customs #behaviors #life

Nowadays,

people

have

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

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show examples

lifestyle,

some

Correct word choice

and some

show examples

of them might think

customs

and traditional

way

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ways

show examples

behaviors

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behavior

show examples

are not suitable anymore. In my opinion,

customs

still play a pivotal

roll

Correct your spelling

role

show examples

, which does not means we must use the

orginal

Correct your spelling

original

way

complete

Correct pronoun usage

itcomplete

show examples

. The main reason I agree with keeping the

customs

is that each culture full of stories and meanings, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

valuable and

preious

Correct your spelling

precious

. The story is not made be one day and it

shoud

Correct your spelling

should

could

not be removed by one day.

For example

, in Taiwanese aboriginal hunting culture, the ceremony of

pig

Add an article

a pig

show examples

slaughter is performed while there is a wedding. The man would hunt a pig and allocate

Correct pronoun usage

it to

show examples

their family and friends. Nowadays,

people

dose not hunt anymore, but we still

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

meals with

pig

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pigs

show examples

together to keep the

natural

Replace the word

nature

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

customs

However

, when most

people

talk about

customs

and traditional ceremony, the

first

thing

Correct pronoun usage

that come

show examples

come

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

up to Mom's mind is "exhausted". The main reason is that each

costoms

Correct your spelling

customs

origin from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

different antique story, which

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to the

calturl

Correct your spelling

cultural

capture

culture

ceremony

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

sophisticated.

For example

, the dinner

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show examples

Chinese New

Year

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Year's

show examples

Eve which

usually

Add a missing verb

is usually

show examples

cooked by Mom

ande

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

Grandma is ruled to be with

varity

Correct your spelling

variety

dished fullfuiied

taditional

Correct your spelling

traditional

meaning.

People

nowadadys

Correct your spelling

nowadays

tend to go to a restaurant for avoiding cooking

Change preposition

show examples

own.

This

way

not only can keep the traditional

behavier

Correct your spelling

behaviour

but

also

can release the stress of Mom. It perfectly shows the

way

to keep the

customs

in a new method. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, even though the

trational

Correct your spelling

traditional

customs

are meaningful,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern

people

prefer to keep the culture in another method. In my

pespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, it is a win-win

choose

Replace the word

choice

show examples

because we can avoid the

complecated

Correct your spelling

complicated

prosses but

also

can keep the

customs

at the same time. The most

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

thing is that we can have a lovely moment with someone we love.

Submitted by judy37177 on Thu Jan 05 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motor-bike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The problems caused by work-related stress (such as lack of productivity) have become a concern for both employers and workers. What do you think are the main causes of work- related stress and how they can be avoid?

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?