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Band 8

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
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Achieving success is essential in today’s era which could promote frames and bring some personal benefits. In certain cultures, youngsters are being taught to put effort as they will reach their destination. Some people agree with
this
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 statement, while others think that it has a different way to success. In the following paragraph, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 opinion. On one hand, encouraging children to work hard if they want to be elite could build a belief. As they have the motivation and purpose to carry on certain tasks.
For instance
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, the old folk story about the ant and the frog teaches the community, putting intention into that things have to be done could bring advantages in the future as opposed to daydreaming. So, it is necessary to work hard in order to achieve the purpose.
On the other hand
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, children feel stressed and upset when failed to achieve things after they worked hard.
This
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 may affect their mental health which leads to psycho issues.
For example
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, according to scientific research, most of the individuals who put extreme attempts have a higher chance of dealing with psychological problems as they have more negative thoughts compared to people who work smart.
Hence
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, it is essential to obtain a suitable method to gain accomplishment. In conclusion,
although
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 some cultures promote youngsters to put in more effort as it could bring them accomplishment, it may bring harm to mental health. So, it is more efficient to find an appropriate way to achieve success.
Submitted by yeejing2009 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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